Thursday, June 30, 2011

Steve In July

Untitled # 229

like the tree every leaf lets go
like any caged dreamer knows
the sunlight always wanes
the cast shadows swing
and flay wildly like
cartwheels through
boredom.

Cancer of The Jaw / Burnt to Death in a Car

the status in the
twilight looms
and lights fall away.
the day turns into
different shades
it gives birth
to a pregnant pause
conceived to
be forgotten
like springtime
before war.

a sleight of hand
a magic trick told
with ancient runes
your heart bleeding
in an empty room
floor full of holes
run through with sand
scrubbed free of rules
surrounded by fences
with busted pickets

drum hits that sounds like thunder
drums that sound like guns
drumming fingers on a bar
waiting for the right
knight to come.

snake strangled by hose
this is the way
tell the world your problems
before someone else does
like death at the wheel
or a jaw removed
like a car full of artwork
stalled and struck
by a train
there is pain in
what remains in fire
and laughter,
slow flames
in equal measures with blame
no one will face you until
its too late.
no fans will meet you at the
pearly gate
this is the way,
the only way
everyone of us pays
for passion plays.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Cat Entry Deux

I get pissed off reading on the internet. Here is why(and I should point out this is well respected veterinarian, not some quack):

"In the wild, your cat would be eating a high protein, high-moisture, meat-based diet, with a moderate level of fat and with only approximately 3-5 percent of her diet consisting of carbohydrates. The average dry food contains 35-50 percent carbohydrate calories. Some of the cheaper dry foods contain even higher levels.

This is NOT the diet that Mother Nature intended for your cat to eat.

Many canned foods, on the other hand, contain approximately 3-5 percent carbohydrates.

Please note that not all canned foods are suitably low in carbohydrates. For instance, most of the Hill's Science Diet (over-the-counter) and the Hill's Prescription diets are very high in carbohydrates and are not foods that I would choose to feed."

The fuck?! this is the brand and type of food that pets unlimited carries-that they recommended, almost to the exclusion of everything else. I have been trying to feed these to both my cats for months now-at Bob's great expense-only to learn they are the LEAST protein heavy diets available. Plus I have to go half way across town to find anywhere that carries them. I have been trying to feed them pre-prepared cooked chicken-to offset the dry food-which is way high in salt-to balance out the dry food. now I learn the dry food is full of carbs and I've been cramming salt into both of them-which dries them out more. I don't know how I haven't killed them both. I feel like a complete fucking idiot-and like I want to KILL the vet at pets unlimited. Seriously, its a good thing I don't own guns. this blog would end with posts from San Quentin and me doing a 10 stretch for murder.

Rawwwwwrr!

Two Strings

should I write your story
a thousand lengths
of string?
time for you
to bathe in glory
Two separate stories
written together
how many crumpled pieces
of paper became imaginary mice
From sprint to crawl
we caught them all
and since..

I know nothing lasts forever
I've learned to get used to
an ever changing weather
plenty memories too
like a ball of yawn
that goes on and on
like all your lives
that pass through mine
I've been here before
with a hundred sighs
on the edge
of a cat's eye
we'll meet and play
and laugh in dreams
where just as you say
we never die.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Stray Pillars / Unmarked Exits / Dark Stars

from the balcony
of the abandoned house
with a hundred rooms
the mercy and discipline
disappears
amidst the screams

you'd be well
to stay upstairs
and watch from a distance
the idiots parade
there is no admission
no honest admonition,
just the music they played
to travel through time
by unraveling how
the days are long
and why life is fraught
with confrontation
disease and fire.

there is part of me
that peeks around corners
where I watch something dark
and sharp surviving
those days cave in to these
and create a pearl
where surface charms
distract from past harm
and rejection,
indecision.
what monster comes out from under neath the lid?
monster movie portrays
victim as a fragile id
and everyone dies
first coverage news at nine
how does anyone
say it with a straight face?

by this point
your brain is filled
with so much useless information
unmarked exits
you never get off at
this is the way
you becalm your regret
over paint the deluged dark stars
with soft scars
but still changing and yet
this is the way
through the valley
over the river where
an old sense of self shivers
bank bound, stranded,
map-less and haunted
and the dealer delivers.
strapped down to a pillar
you learn to pay,
like the old days
this is the way.
(return)

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Unpredictable Evenings

pushing my shopping
cart through snow
its winter here
the trees bend with extra weight
and for the last
time runs
slow sap
eventually
amber
clamor with
memory cleared
painted palettes
of stripped bone blood
and women rattling in cages
full of fury and mediocrity
built on a flawed system with a
right to be destroyed
torn down time and again
you find its the blind
leading the blind

At The Pelican Inn

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Angry Anarchist Animals with Mohawks!

(The entry below was posted on a website where a bunch of anarchist were defending some crazy girl who threw a toilet paper roll with an M-80 in it at a cop at a rally somewhere in Denver. It exploded near a cop car 'allegedly' and the girl was busted by 'the man'. Of course they are just as haughty as the rest of the punx out there but somehow think they're morally superior ("Your system is vile and broken!")-which they aren't-but I figured I would have some fun...the poster's name is, ironically, "genius". Someone made a slight toward people with mohawks being 'animals' so genius glibly asked "name 5 animals with mohawks!"...well!)

All my life I wanted to respond to a genius! finally! to answer your immediate question:

1. Horses (and several species of Zebra! They've got rad striped ones too sometimes!)
2. Chinese crested dogs (C'mon, the PERFECT anarchist dog, am I right?)
3. Sulfur crested cockatoos (bright yellow AND they're fully adjustable)
4. Pileated woodpeckers (bright red without the manic panic hair dye!)
5. Hyenas (well known in fact for the their short but spiky doos)
6. Several species of our of close cousins the monkeys like the Thomas Leaf monkey
7. Certain varieties of chickens and roosters

(google for pictures of course!)

I could go on-heck where do you think WE got the idea from? humans are not that original anyway-we like copying one another. I can go to the end of haight street any day and find at least 5 matching mohawks without even trying. If anarchism works for you, that is great. Although I have never gotten why one system with inherent problems is better/morally superior than another system with inherent problems-single systems are all flawed anyway-or why working to pay for things you love-particularly if you love working or love what you do is 'evil' and driving society to its downfall? ever watched a bunch of anarchists get into an argument? Or been called a 'faggot' and "kike jewboy" because you wouldn't give up half of the piece of pizza you've still got in your mouth-the only food I had the entire day-a mere 10 feet from the anarchist bookstore no less-by one? I was flattered being considered to be jewish (i'm not) but deeply offended by the homophobia-because I am definitely gay. why does being hungry mean I am jewish or gay? still trying to figure that one out.

Sorry, but I wanted a place to keep my old Crass LPs that didn't involve staying in a house with 10 or more others-stepping over drunk people I didn't know asleep on the floor-having to worry if my clothes or stereo were going to be 'liberated' when I got home. If that makes me a 'tool of the man' then I can live with that. I am an independent artist-and I need somewhere to produce my work without worry. I could work on the side of a building(and have) but why limit myself to one medium creatively? Sometimes I use a computer, or a camera or sometimes just a pencil. Where do you have room to stretch a 4x10 foot canvas that takes 2 months to dry when people stream in and out all day? I don't know how many times i have heard of things going missing at squats-what makes you think a $500 digital camera is safe when you're not ruled by johnny law? I've met some really cool anarchist folks in my day but anarchists are just as capable of being elitist and bourgeois in their own way. I know johnbrown will have a work around for this-he seemingly has a workaround for every thing so far. how about do what works for you and stop playing up every downside of other people's way of life-what I am tongue in cheek doing so above-and just get on with living yours? No rich douchebag put me where I am. I come from working class parents-I worked my ass off to get here myself-and my system isn't 'broken'-we're all in the same one together. Think globally, act locally, right? Better to light a candle than curse the darkness. Do what you will, but harm none!

by the way, what is wrong with animals with mohawks? they're cute!

different "steve" btw - we're everywhere! ;)

p.s. why do so many street anarchists insist on keeping dogs?
p.p.s. why do so many anarchists wear only black and brown? color is fun!

Friday, June 17, 2011

A Light Glimpsed Over Mountain Tops In Appalachia

don't wait for moonlight
to guide you
like a lost dog
it will lead you on

bash you on the rocks
laugh
when courage fades
and the last bubble of air
breaks on the
water and
is gone.

what face will you show the world
will it be the real you
or the one that sits around
in the darkness
waiting for
you to
move on
get a groove on
try a new face on
sing a different song?

is it trembling in fear
hoping for cancellation
a re-embrace of
false conceptions
that explain your
lowness
at the source?
is it full of pent up desire
cowering and agitating
for the hard fist
to stop,
waiting for the quiet knives
to expect laughing
when they cut
out your heart.

is the face in the painting
a reason to forget
about whatever happened?
wipe clean the endless
slate of stale reason
washed with tears
and hung up wet.

you can't drink the
nectar from dead flowers
or make a boat from
a dying tree
to float downstream
through dreams
and passion
and finally to rest
and be free.

you have to let
go of the ropes that hold
you back bundled
troubled, doubled over
beating welts into blank flesh
in a low lit room.

old stories
hamper the new
and like the power of ten
from the past refracting light
you can't go home again.

no one else is holding you up.
no one else is holding you down.
the hands that hold you back
are your own.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Sick Of Being Sick

I can't sleep. the cough expectorant is giving me really fucked up dreams(meeting your partner's dead ex in a dream and having to explain why the grass on his grave gets so high but he can't! or my usual chased by demons through the nightmarish wasteland of the post nuclear apocalypse-terrorized by bears which alternate look like my dead father or British comedian Eddie Izzard in drag(??? and double wtf!!!) does that count as fucked up to you?

what I wouldn't give for a more quiet mind! really!

my throat hurts and I have cramping in my chest from coughing-I'd enjoy staying up this late normally but nothing wrecks being up late like being up late because you're sick. If I ever get my hands on the little texting happy asian boy who spent the entire concert coughing and clearing his throat I'll make sushi out of him.

Hai-Ya!

And to add insult to injury Josquin decided to crap right in the middle of the hallway-perfect for stepping into in the dark-which I proceeded to do getting a glass of water. Luckily there was also pile of vomit not too far away-thank goodness I have that little bissel carpet cleaning thing or I would have been screwed-so I was able to clean up both piles and some random cat grass yack at..the clock says "6:11 AM" as I write this....I guess this is his way of telling me HE is sick of being sick. Heck, I am sick of his being sick. I don't know what to do...I want to crawl into a ball and cry.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Robyn Guthrie / Brendan Perry / Bimbo's / Sunday 6.12.11

Well, I just saw a fantastic show. Robyn Guthrie(formerly of the Cocteau Twins) and Brendan Perry(formerly of Dead Can Dance). It was at Bimbo's 365 which I have not been inside of in years. Tasha and I had trouble finding a seat as they were all half full or reserved. I figured screw it-lets have a drink-rum and coke for me, Lemon Drop for Tasha-and just go stand near the front, which we did. It turned out to be a good call-we were right inside the PA stacks booming and just got the stage monitor sound so everything sounded crisp, clear and warm rather than over amplified mush. Bimbos is a nice place to see shows of this size and the place was perfect.

Even after all these years both of these guys still possess immense talent-and in the case of Brendan Perry, an absolutely stunning voice. Robyn played several tracks off his newest album Carousel-starting with 'Some Sort of Paradise' spiced with a few songs from EPs and then encored with the title track from 'Imperial.' It was a short set but nicely balanced with elements of his newer, more intense material as well as prettier, more ambient pieces. Not earth shattering but a beautiful warm up for Brendan Perry.

Drawing from a larger palette of work, Brendan came with a full band-including Lawrence O'Keefe (previously with my heroes Felt, Primal Scream and many others) on Bass. Brendan opened his set with 'Black Sun' off "Within The Realm Of A Dying Sun"-a favorite of mine. though he didn't play anything off his first solo album he played a good portion of the new record "Ark" including 'This Boy', 'Utopia' and 'Wintersun' as well as DCD chestnuts 'Severance', 'Adversity' and 'In Power We Entrust The Love Advocated' from the very first DCD EP "Garden of the Arcane Delights'. He also treated us to three new songs including one called "Icarus" which I would love to hear recorded and a traditional New Zealand folk song that no one probably could understand(though raised in Australia and Ireland, Perry is a native of NZ).

I could not get over how great his voice sounds-this rich, booming baritone-after listening to someone sing for the better part of 30 years you would expect some decline in tone and quality but he sounds just as good now and when I saw then back in the 1980's. Incredibly soulful and earthy and his songwriting and solo work just keeps getting better. Hopefully he won't wait 12 years between albums this time around-clearly he is writing new songs so keep your fingers crossed. I am. As a real treat he invited Robyn out to play on a beautiful cover of Tim Buckley's 'Song To The Siren' a song he himself had covered as part of the 'This Mortal Coil' supergroup. You could just about hear everyone's little inner goth kid wet their pants. Completely and totally mesmerizing.

A big, big superfan thank you to the Fabulous Miss Westmore for suggesting the concert and kindly paying for the tickets. I think this was one of the best live music shows I have seen in a long while-literally a dream ticket that I would have given my left nut for back in the day-though they never could have toured together back then anyway. Better late than never! we both had a blast.

peevs: Drunks: after listening to him holler "WHOOOO!!" before and after every song RIGHT in my ear for ALL of Robyn's set and using my shoulder as a bumper for his sweaty head while he drunkenly gyrated and generally made an ass out of himself-I got irritated. Or the stupid young guy in front of us who spent the entire concert texting the most banal messages, taking pictures(not allowed) and filming video(also not allowed). You know...as bad as you want to break the rules and ignore the artist's rights to control their image and material doesn't give you the right to stick your fucking iphone in my face every few seconds to get that 'awesome shot'-you know the one-the one you JUST twittered to your other friend about two seconds after taking it?

What stupid fucking assholes...I have put up with entitled people like this at shows for YEARS-now they just have cellphones instead of overheated little goth girlfriends that complain about my height. After I felt Mr. drunk Asian guys hands drifting around my ass and my back pockets-and after I finally had to grab both his hands and remove them from around my waist-yes really-I not very politely told him "keep your fucking hands off of me-just because you are drunk doesn't mean you can do whatever you want!" While I didn't even want to look over in his direction after that, Tasha noted that he made a point of stepping away from me so whatever! It worked for me. Both rude short Asian guys...not sure what that was about. Even with the above annoyances this show was a highpoint. So glad we were able to go! Thanks Tash!

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Untitled # 228

the guitar is empty
or either full of wallets
that are
empty as well.
In East Hastings we wandered
half blasted
encroached by ruthless hooligans
adrift in a beering haze
the approach was hanging
on the window sill
we banged
the glass to hear
it ring