((Draft)
Unfinished soliloquy
interrupted by damaged cacophony
shake in time to the dischord
the growing hordes
cannot discern the odes to freedom
whores and saints ride the median
in to distolian admissions
to ponder
the collapse souls in the moment
of disarmament
disenchantment
disenaging dismorphic abandoned
acolades mistakes fade
in distance rattled clocks broken
draize train padlocked; addled.
is it clue-filled arithmetic changing
or refractions on a theme in
language becoming gorgeous
panhandled illustrated
undemanding
orchestrated for
the sound of wings flapping
over low mountains.
minded. carbon
unspooled filled
a universe riding unhinged undiminished
knife edges.
as dawn raids
air escapes
pinions swing in the
swim of mechinics
authentic ryhtm
machines , portals of symmetry
eclaipsed by history
erased and brought together
in Antimony's desire.
Sunday, December 23, 2012
Saturday, December 22, 2012
Thursday, December 20, 2012
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Unclouded
on an uncloudy day
nothing will be in our way
nothing will hold us down
the sky and
the road will stretch out
forever and ever and ever
in hope
nothing will be in our way
nothing will hold us down
the sky and
the road will stretch out
forever and ever and ever
in hope
Monday, December 17, 2012
Sunday, December 16, 2012
Not There
did I get on the wrong train
one with a mixed up
destination
the place you want to be
keeps changing
while you learn
to forget
madmen dreams
the familiar face dealing with the same
pains running away
with a song or a note
that's never here or there
rock and roll isn't always
there to save you
in the lowest ebb
of static blistering through
the rashness of decisions in
the dark corners
where mad thoughts laughing back
at me.
What kind of wall did
I ever believe in
that would be made
of nothing?
with each bad decision
some part me
I don't remember
is disintegrating
broken sidewalks
where I paused or stopped
never seemed to lead
me somewhere decent
a descent into recent unhappiness
or something dredged up
from the unrecent past
like a wet coat I can't shrug
nothing works, even drugs
I am so tired... so tired.
one with a mixed up
destination
the place you want to be
keeps changing
while you learn
to forget
madmen dreams
the familiar face dealing with the same
pains running away
with a song or a note
that's never here or there
rock and roll isn't always
there to save you
in the lowest ebb
of static blistering through
the rashness of decisions in
the dark corners
where mad thoughts laughing back
at me.
What kind of wall did
I ever believe in
that would be made
of nothing?
with each bad decision
some part me
I don't remember
is disintegrating
broken sidewalks
where I paused or stopped
never seemed to lead
me somewhere decent
a descent into recent unhappiness
or something dredged up
from the unrecent past
like a wet coat I can't shrug
nothing works, even drugs
I am so tired... so tired.
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Saturday, December 8, 2012
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Mark, What Hath You Wraught?
What a weekend this has been. Friday night Sheldon started throwing up. First came all he had eaten then bile-by Saturday he hadn't eaten or drank anything for a whole day and what was coming up was like no cat yak I had ever seen and smelled terrible. by the evening he was listless, wobbly and cried if I picked him up. Sunday morning he got worse and I took him into AIMMS on 9th avenue for emergency vet service. 2.5 hours of waiting was hell-and while I was there another woman's cat literally died in the carrier in the waiting room. they ran every test, blood work, x-rays, ultrasounds, put him on an IV, gave him fluids, medication and held him overnight. He improved slightly from the fluid but after calls back and forth and another trip back to Arguello Pet Hospital, it was confirmed that indeed there was a blockage, fluid painfully built up in his system behind it and needed surgery to be removed.
Surgery was Monday but they couldn't fit him in at Arguello so he went back to AIMMS. After a year of steady improvement in the behavior dept now he is handed a life threatening blockage? If I could afford my own place this would have never happened-everyone knows what a neat freak I am. A big fuck you to the slob roommate for leaving bags of trash/recycling in his office overflowing with loose candy wrappers for MONTHS instead of simply taking them down to our recycling bins-which the cat of course eventually explored and, due most likely to Pica, he ate. $5,000+7 car trips across town and three sleepless days later my cat has a 4" suture on his shaved belly, a cone around his neck and a drug habit that would make Lohan blush-and can't jump, clean himself or eat without assistance because of the cone. I can't I remove the cone lest he rip his stitches out.
Disturbance At The Kitty House? And I thought I was going to finish that Dead Can Dance article this weekend? I'm wrecked and its only Tuesday! Oh honey the FUN we have together! its a laugh riot! really....I need a drink!
Surgery was Monday but they couldn't fit him in at Arguello so he went back to AIMMS. After a year of steady improvement in the behavior dept now he is handed a life threatening blockage? If I could afford my own place this would have never happened-everyone knows what a neat freak I am. A big fuck you to the slob roommate for leaving bags of trash/recycling in his office overflowing with loose candy wrappers for MONTHS instead of simply taking them down to our recycling bins-which the cat of course eventually explored and, due most likely to Pica, he ate. $5,000+7 car trips across town and three sleepless days later my cat has a 4" suture on his shaved belly, a cone around his neck and a drug habit that would make Lohan blush-and can't jump, clean himself or eat without assistance because of the cone. I can't I remove the cone lest he rip his stitches out.
Disturbance At The Kitty House? And I thought I was going to finish that Dead Can Dance article this weekend? I'm wrecked and its only Tuesday! Oh honey the FUN we have together! its a laugh riot! really....I need a drink!
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Thursday, November 1, 2012
No Reach For The Search For Reason / Pumpkins For Halloween Season
close these eyes
all the voices have gone
now liquified
poured in the corner
click to restore order
can't hold my breath
much longer with these burnt hands
switch it off
switch it round
absence of reason won't
bring the nightmare
to a close
just a search for
the broken
pieces, backing up
I stepped on
in the darkness
the incessant weaponless floundering
the star and sinner sand castle place full
of monsters and mobsters and drinkers
being missed
sinister regretful
in some brightness
awakened...
all the voices have gone
now liquified
poured in the corner
click to restore order
can't hold my breath
much longer with these burnt hands
switch it off
switch it round
absence of reason won't
bring the nightmare
to a close
just a search for
the broken
pieces, backing up
I stepped on
in the darkness
the incessant weaponless floundering
the star and sinner sand castle place full
of monsters and mobsters and drinkers
being missed
sinister regretful
in some brightness
awakened...
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Monday, October 29, 2012
Running Backwards Into Time
blink
flip
white
there it is images again
again
a hundred thousand images
each one the next one
bursting flip books ripped
old gray ships
falling into the ocean
a hundred thousand images flapping
flaming into the silence like shadows draped over stones
into the distance I'm running
like time melting into
the sea
flip
white
there it is images again
again
a hundred thousand images
each one the next one
bursting flip books ripped
old gray ships
falling into the ocean
a hundred thousand images flapping
flaming into the silence like shadows draped over stones
into the distance I'm running
like time melting into
the sea
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Sunday, October 14, 2012
Saturday, October 13, 2012
Jumping Into Old Hollywood Besieged by Inapproprate Memory
in the first six seconds
they were liquid
dream beings within reasons
on an outcropping
stone altars
the sea.
nether-future
wingless, flightless
gifted.
sifting through morning
ever green fields of overlapping
what no man can ever say
the guitar is packed
and the gang plank sings like a singular smile
I've been nefarious
delirious and nearly dead
when I should have been
some kind of saint
I saw burning buildings
and the wax stains from
ash
were you
in the
white space
as dark as the knight
and the invisible
spaces
where shadows
come to light
chandeliers swinging
like police batons ripping through heads
of heroes spilled on cement
marked out on the
maps of the stars
cloth cut from
old stocks of movie
still-reel dreamers
this hollywood is dead
the music plays
in the cemetary loop
you can't help but hear
during someone else's funeral
what will be your legacy
what will strangers hear in memory
what color will the grass be
when the name they
call belongs to
me.
they were liquid
dream beings within reasons
on an outcropping
stone altars
the sea.
nether-future
wingless, flightless
gifted.
sifting through morning
ever green fields of overlapping
what no man can ever say
the guitar is packed
and the gang plank sings like a singular smile
I've been nefarious
delirious and nearly dead
when I should have been
some kind of saint
I saw burning buildings
and the wax stains from
ash
were you
in the
white space
as dark as the knight
and the invisible
spaces
where shadows
come to light
chandeliers swinging
like police batons ripping through heads
of heroes spilled on cement
marked out on the
maps of the stars
cloth cut from
old stocks of movie
still-reel dreamers
this hollywood is dead
the music plays
in the cemetary loop
you can't help but hear
during someone else's funeral
what will be your legacy
what will strangers hear in memory
what color will the grass be
when the name they
call belongs to
me.
Friday, October 12, 2012
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