Said goodbye to the 1980s

*Static*

oh, these last couple of weeks...

I swear....they have driven me to drink...literally. yeah yeah yeah yeah...

Are the periods annoying you yet?

Seriously, I'm a bit whooped right now. I know your supposed say how you are sailing through the seas of cheese and all that but my ass just feels broke down. I've seen cars being towed away that were in better shape than I am. Too many fucking problems. Not enough fucking. My head is caned. My soul is adrift and I am not sure where I am going to land right now.

I guess you stick around...for something...or waiting for something to change.

Will it? Won't it> now there is some fucked up grammar!

Not sure if the life I Have now is the one or kind that I want. Perhaps I should move away-start over somewhere else. become a shadow. moving through the absence of light. I pass through all colors on my way to the one, to that color that paints the whole world while you watch. Look on and see them swirl.

My tree is getting old. Lots of rings there deep inside me. could I rip myself open? with a knife? let my sap run out to collect in some drain while my leaves dried and were thrown to the winds. like those diner-stop resturant placemat mazes, not every path you choose leads to way out or the grand prize. Sometimes you get stuck at a dead end-or the path you chose gets close but just out of reach? and it all crumbles back into the sea like sand at high tide. (monitor turns off)

Steven is Gone

someday I'll park my playhouse by the sea
a place for all the men to go
and become one with me.
A hallowed place
where spirits rest
their heads and hands
upon my breast.

Another place...

Its a boat out
to Anchorage,
a ripped up pair
of shoes
an opera in D
dreams made of blood
and blues
and your hand
holding
my hand

Its all about the work

"After all, Debussy was considered impossibly avant-garde in his time. It's hard to credit such a response to his music today. Similarly, Brahms piano concerto #1 was reviewed in its day as 'noise'. We need to grow into modern works. We shouldn't ask that things be made too easy for us."

David Sylvian, on modern artistic development.

God I love this....so right-fucking-on its hard to imagine. Yeah, you develop the work, but the relationship to the work, or the relationship it has for others is what it becomes. That happens outside the initial burst of creative spark that gives reason to the intangible ideas we pull out of the ether. But after that, what? To me that space is when something moves from being the "work" to "art". when someone else grasps its experience. when it resonates outside the body of its creator.

And that is the power of art(which is a big bucket of others things, not just 'painting'). Pretty potent stuff if you have the talent to capture the lightning in a bottle. Alchemy and Ecstacy anyone?

Chaos

You say its chaos
and it is
because if you will something
to be
then it becomes real.
not as flesh
but moreso
than memory
a fleeting glimpse
into madness
no need for epiphany.
I try to avoid it
while not avoiding you
but you claim
we're not happening
on the same page
as one.
I'm so tired
of trying to please
of begging
and pleading
hoping to appease.
I just want the one thing
all of us want.
A life together
to fight the storms
instead of a lonely house
to haunt.
I once said I loved you
but I no longer know for sure.
it so difficult
to know
anything when emotions blur.
You want to be on the same page
you say chaos is you normal
why wait for a break in the clouds
its never coming
I keep on humming
hoping for a change in
the weather.

stars in the coffee bars

I saw you
for a moment
under the hazy streelight
glow and disappear
into the lamp black of
the darkness
and night

guys!

guys that only want other men like themselves
guys that want the total opposite.
guys that lie about everything
guys that tell the truth until it hurts as bad as a lie.
guys that are self obsessed.
guys that are obsessed with me.
guys that are emotionally distant
guys that are needy
guys that are...just another stranger.

I think I am getting to the point where I am really fucking fed up with men in general. If I didn't occasionally meet one I thought was sweet and kind and could be supportive I would put them all in a box and bury it.

(trumpets) Here

"I wake up every day
but I don't want it that way."
Brett Anderson -He's Dead

Well, I'm right depressed at the moment.

Its chemical surely, but with as many chemicals
as there are swirling in my brains right now
its almost impossible to
find out what is right and what is wrong
I think the answers are in my brain
or hidden deep within a song
I cry all the time.
the curl of my cats paw
as he sleeps
the beauty in a spider's web
delicately laced with dew
the first few seconds of crackle
at the beginning of every record
the cloud spinning past the window
when I look out
the stars seem lonely
as life and the hands of every clock
tick away
I ran away and was hidden by this city
this is the big time
the stars are all on the ground
but all the little voices
they will drown
one single voice
that's merely
in the way

WTF/FTW

What is the cadence
of a wasted youth?
the lapse of a breath
that begins with a howl,
right before it becomes absorbed
by the whirling vortex.
does it sound like that?

Again I pick up the prescription
for an unnecessary addiction
for medication that doesn't work
on a disease I don't have.

What becomes a legend most?
sucking all the blood from its host.

a volatile dream

my claw feet
grip the generation
before and after the
revolutions.

sadness.
it passes into a kiss and
then it is the only thing that
matters.

Zephyrs fly
and overhead
the voices in the sky that
tug at my shirt
lost in the stupor
the dreaded torpor and
the mortal coil.

blessed are those that sleep
blessed are those who sleep.
smoke and ash in a heap,
smoldering and replete
with its stern and steel
facade that will make you cry
blessed are those who sleep,
blessed are those that sleep...

Please let me find out why...
are the answers in the sky?
Will I find it in the stars?
passive and pale,
dreaming of what may
one day be a real life
now hidden in sleep...
blessed are those that sleep..
(its a real life better than mystery)
Are the answers in the sky?
hidden in sleep,
hidden in
hidden in sleep.

Sept 11th

"They whom we love and lose are no longer where they were before,They are now...
wherever we are"

anonymous - from the 9/11 tribute site

heroes and old ghosts

And would my tears fall into the sky
where heroes and old ghosts go to die
another winter here in the white hills
over green and pleasant yet distant lands
strange arms came to hold me in the night
just another layover until the morning light

won't someone tell me all the secrets
that I long to let go of
to throw into the wind
dismiss like a careless thought
I know...
it goes on and on
and on and on
and on....

the skin from my feet is gone

couldn't sleep again.
the rain in my brain was pounding
like thunderstorms over ancient oceans
body clenching and heaving
sheets wet with sadness and dissolution
impatience and impermanent
trying to find some safe spot to land on
to find home
somewhere with enough answers
so I won't keep looking.
a nest,
a haven
from the mavens and
their writing blocks
that I stack on and climb
hurriedly I scale the right-angled
formations until there is nothing
just the smooth white facade
of the reflection in itself
the mirror reversed
minus light
and hope.

Le Morte Della Con Tutti Frutti

Turn into stone


then I'll be damned
he said
as he turned and walked
away...

the women all turn into
statues
as do the men in their
own way,
Understand me...
its all a lot of misery
but then you see one day
the sea...

try to grab a cloud
hold on to a dream
no conflagration
burns forever
in the slipstream.
------

words/birds

Not in love with words,
not in winged flight
like the birds
or the stars
in their flight
over the midnight
obsidian; void
the empty nothingness
and that which lies beyond
they shoot like needles
into the tar-like
surface of the
universe...

Not in Love with Fear

Whether the glass is half empty
or whether it's half full,
I'm still drowning in the
waters of this vessel that
I'm in...its funny,
mystery and romance,
topical depressions,
watching dead can dance
in the near light
of this waning candle
I hold my hand aloft one more time
and I wonder....

------

If you give me a rope
I promise not to hang
myself with it
as long as I can hold on
to it instead.

New portrait

reistat

Leave without saying
goodbye.
Make everyone else
try harder
but don't try.
take a long long
look at the fingers
pointing back
and ask why.

Too angry to wonder
or even ponder
semantic differences
or emotional inferences
all caught up in the maelstrom
of you.

Of You
in an emotional
minefield.
booby traps
and inconsideration
laid out for all to see.
secrets kept
though lost in thought
and the voices of many men
who've lost the plot.

it feels like the asking
and the waiting for
the response
is haunting me while
the hours pass
in dimly lit restaurants.

I never wanted
to be grim
or affronted
but I keep on asking
for the light
and the time.
to see it all through.

you just can't work it out

No its love,
like a curl of smoke
that fades
no smiles
or passion
in the remains

You drag your hands
through the ash and
with two fingers,
indicate the war paint
on your cold and
sullen face.

No, its love.
like a blast of steam,
the build of pressure
and the initial scream.
hot dares, no cares,
dissolved in air.

It can move mountains
be pushed aside
by the wave of
a careless hand
and yet beside
the silence
at the end of the
phone that buzzes
when you hang up first

its love
and can we take anymore?
I try to work it out
to work it out...

A rustle in the branches(distracted by momentary thoughts of suicide)

look out the window; daydreaming
nothing but ever whitening skies,
blazing away in the afternoon.
ego crumbling
by sheets of glass
singing to no one
just me and the trees
clapping like a million
sets of eyes
they see me, waiting
but a step away
a single step
is all it
takes.

The World is Made of Clay

mixed words
or intentions
that seem unclear
words that need
to be said
but no one says
I want but not
what you want
distraught and
taught to lose
you shield you
from abuse soon
no can even really
get that close
the door slams
the lights go out
the welcome mat
is pulled from
beneath your feet
caked in clay
soil shoes you
feel buried in blues.

Its all evaporating like a distant dream....

Will the water
of your loneliness
wash all the scars away
when time has passed?
swirling like a gas
the crimson flow
evaporates
in the stillness
of the empty glass.

Michael Jackson

Well, I watched the memorial concert/funeral and probably like most people I found it both incredibly moving and sad. Moving because it was so nice to see people speak so genuinely from their hearts and without judgment and sad because it took Michael's death to finally give him his due, so very long overdue.
The singing was wonderful(most specifically Jermaine and Stevie Wonder) and seeing what a wide range of people he touched. Certainly his passing and the unprecedented amount of coverage and sheer mass of information that has passed regarding his death and tributes both personal and professional are hard to ignore. the numbers alone are pretty staggering.

Not sure why you'd leave in summer but its a bummer michael, and so very very sad...

Something Special

I look out the window
Haven't seen you in a while
the last time we kissed,
the last time you smiled
like I kept your heart in my pocket
to tear it out would be
like ripping an arm out
of its socket...
short of
a locket
its the only thing
sometimes I feel like
there is left to hold on to.
when the black rabbits come again
and they're calling my name
and dancing...
I'm trying to work
out something special
in a void where I'm
left wandering and lost
but the quiver of my arrows
seems to be somewhere else and
the clear vantage point I once had
has all but faded from my view.

I'm a little blind now.

I know I'm facing in the right direction
even with my seemingly mixed bag of intentions.
trying to make some more beautiful rainbows
less of living in black and white.
don't always know my
wrong from right.
don't want to fight
fade
out...

See you

Her hair and his
were entwined
and astray.
The car
and the red
leather interior
beyond skill
and love
stolen
lot, keys
and the dust
and the alchohol
and the pills
and the sleeping
while the engine
ran
and ran
ran away
with the time
and their lives
and the memory of
love in the depths
at the end of time...

Holy Cow, Angela Landsbury wins a Tony!

I'll never forget your face
the same after 80 winters
your long hair
and september valentines
Hard to believe
you'll always be mine
Back in history
and before the war
You thought of me
calling from Japan
on business
the gaze I saw reflected
in chance moments
and your kiss
hit the nail upon the head
catch the

I never knew
like some fiend
that girls were cruel
you were 17
you bucked up
faced the truth
learned to shoot pool
and broke away
from the shame
changed your face
and then your name
account closed
no more withdrawls
after September
the winds will have gone
from whence they came

UP

The new Disney/Pixar movie really surprised me. The first 20 minutes are probably some of the most sublime and sad moments I have ever seen in a cartoon or animated movie. I could not stop crying! Even though the film has elements which are obviously fantastical, there is so much grounding the film emotionally, you barely realize how strange the circumstances of the plot are(Balloons tied to a house that happens to float all the way to South America overnight?) yet that alone is not enough to stop me liking this film.

It works on a lot of levels, even though there were times when I thought the pace was a little slow. Of course the visuals are spectacular-even animated they are spectacular. I saw the film in 3D but honestly, other than the title blocks and the some of the (talking) dog chase scenes, I didn't really get that much added to the film. It was really not necessary but it got me to fork over another three bucks to the Castro Street Theatre where I saw the film. And I love supporting local movie houses in the heart of the gayest neighborhood on the planet.

Go see the film-its aimed at kids obviously but there is a wonderful film for adults in there as well, something for everyone. If you have recently lost a loved one or a spouse this film may be hard to watch but essential to healing one's heart. I highly recommend it.

Kiss of the Cockatoos

sweat beads on my hands
and behind the eyes
stars are lingering
lids closed
deep black pools
with mercury glissening
under-surfaces
and the rain
like a hundred thousand bullets
of light
will the ideas ev'r end?
Are there any thoughts
left to send
in space?

Dancing Past Pop's Surface

It has been 25 years since the Pet Shop Boys made their first stab at making pop records. One thing that no amount of style changes have managed to do, which is to make the duo sound like anybody BUT themselves. While America seems to have ignored the boys for the past 15 years they've consistently made well-crafted, hook-filled records, loads of hit singles and written a ton of great music for others. Rarely have they made a false step.

Many have pointed to their 1993 album, "Very" as the boy's pop peak. Though their albums since then have been equally regarded, "Very" seems to hold a particular piece of nostalgia and appreciation. Equally hailed by critics as well as reflected in chart sales, like a greatest hits collection of entirely new material, very was "pop" that connected by expressing universal ideas about love.

That their new album "Yes" harkens back to this time in their career is in no small way due to their decision to work with the production team Xenomania, hit makers for pop sensations like Girl's Aloud. Love them or hate them, they have buckets full of hits-and as "serious" sounding as the pet shop boys may occasionally be they are still trading as a pop band. Good thing too as "Yes" is about as "pop" as these two have sounded in ages and I have to say it suits them well. They still sound like the pet shop boys. Neil still sounds arch and witty as hell and Chris still hides behind his shades and hats, twiddling the knobs somewhere several feet away. Oops, double entendre.

The first tracks from the new album that hit me were “Did you see me coming?” "More than a dream" and "The way it used to be." Each of them upbeat dance tunes, done like they should be. You can't HELP but tap your feet and shake your hips to this album, unless they're broken. Its not all dance music however, ranging from four on the floor thump thumps like Pandemonium (sure to be a single) and lead off single Love etc. to the wistfully reflective, almost tender King of Rome.

Other than closing the album with the maudlin “Legacy”-which, while pretty would have been better suited between “More than a dream” and “Building a wall”, this album is really well paced. I always loved the way the Bilingual album closes with the amazingly upbeat “Saturday night forever.” The new album is so pop it would have worked a little better to have it end with the great “The way it used to be” or “This used to be the future” with Human League's Phillip Oakey, for some reason marooned on the 2nd disc of the limited edition version. C'mon you two, what's with the tease?

Happily the summer looms, where singles like “Did you see me coming?” should be pumping out of fan’s car stereos everywhere. This, their tenth album finds the boys stepping forward with a few old friends (Johnny Marr!) and some new ones, creating what is arguably their best album this decade. Yes, it’s incredibly pop.

Outrage

Went to see this film this evening at the Embarcedero Cinema and boy did it get me angry. Rarely have I wanted to throw things at the movie screen as I did during this documentary. There are of course always problems with documentaries in general and this is not totally free of those, but it hits home pretty hard.
I am always leary of outting people based on the fact that some random guy claims he's had sex with them. However there are enough corroborated stories in this film that cancel out the need for proof in many cases. There are just so many damning facts its hard to ignore them.
Probably the things that enraged me so much was seeing how many gay people actually helped these homophobes in the process of selling us down the river. What total bastards! Well done and worth seeing if you've got a few extra bob.

Will You Sleep Downstairs tonight?

Its always winter
somewhere, but it comes too late
to you.
In your chair
you've been sitting there
drawing up your letters
like a blanket of ink
will it wash away
all the pain
that I remember?
Will it wash away
the stains on my heart?
Or will they show up
as the beauty in my art?
or will it be just so tragic
it comes as a surprise
to anyone.
You will keep them at a distance
far enough away
to keep them all from
sticking holes in your heart.

Pet Shop Boys

Dear god I can't stop playing the new single "Did You See Me Coming?" Its just so damn catchy and has "feel good hit of the summer" written all over it. It is with some delight that I come of the realization that I have been listening to them for nearly their entire career in music(and as an aging Smash Hits reader, even earlier in Neil's former one as a music journalist). While I wasn't surprised to find out they were gay, I am rather proud of saying that I like their music. They set the bar incredibly high in asking their audience to be intelligent, witty pop and dance music fans. When so much of dance music is vapid, meaningless trash, the Pet Shop Boys were referencing Wittgenstein, making great dance-pop wrapped in great sleeves. Their work as a whole is pretty substantial for what is "throw away" music. They have rarely misfired and other than the fact that the video for the new single sux, I can live with the fact that they are still making great music and that I am still tapping my feet to their music, sitting here at nearly 37. Go Neil and Chris. Whew!

Foxx

was waiting,
Waiting, savage
gazing out of random skyscraper windows
electric valleys
blanketed in matrix fog
engendering
my sex
in digital
urban outlines blindfolded
separated from
car-crash reality
and the grit of
the overpass,
two hands
and the spark
at the beginning of time
like faded film
fading

Window in Hiroshima After the Rain

I've been out to the garden....

Twins peaks after the rain
the night is awash with sway,
your strands will part
and stray.

The stain glass shimmering
in the eastern light
and the end of the day
in europe

will be tragic
will be magical, rains, trains
I cannot wait,
hesitation after the strain

will you see me there?
Will you see me after I am scared,
I'm flashing back to the car crash
your beauty and the long, long lash.
re-arrange my heart,
create an anagram that lasts...

Its glamour and mon amour
those splintered roses
will sing no more
in harmonies visions
strip away with the weight
while gravity dislocates
with its indecision.

and just for a moment we are liquid
and just for a moment we are liquid...
pooling...

The Awful Ache

In self help
they call it
the god shaped hole
or the endless siphon

The need that can never be met
or you keep looking
for years
to find it
and until you do
until you find the shape
and the color
and the texture
of that penultimate thing
which finally fills up
the unknown space
you are never whole.

You are wandering
and unfulfilled,
Empty...

My Website is Up and Live

Yo, People! Check out my Fetish Drawing website

http://www.fetishalchemy.com/index.html

Composition in Black and White

Even a dull stone can be polished to the point of beauty

my eyes close dreaming of venus

you lull me into sleep
with stories of the moon
and her make-up.
imaginary women
cooing in caves
and stirring cauldrons
full of lost souls

I'll try and stay asleep
another night as
a stranger in a strange land
without a name
I'd beg to be released
or for relapse
if only there was someone
here with the key
to the locked door
of my waking mind...

Brave New World

I was covering the revolving world
In paper-mache death certificates
Filling the sphere with all the blood
And moons I could find.
A few tears and
Some strange music
At midnight
For the glowing ones
For the lonely ones
And you?
With your
American spirit?
Lift me up
‘Til I can’t talk.
My words becoming useless,
Like the hills against
The waves, dear…
It’s a brave new world
And no one knows nothing
About you.

the jaded underworld

There's no point in choosing
which way, which path?
stick to the soft shoulder
can I cry on you
when my soul feels empty
or drink from you
like a glass of wine
in verticle puddles
growing in my mind...

Will we say goodbye
again...to those still alive?
will we last through the night
or get lost...again
in a pool of a thousand eyes?
the acting trip is over,
the sun is up
will it use up all
the rest of me
to rise above?


fuck this...I can't wait around for the sun to shine again

words as weapons

In a moment in the sky
there were birds
and insects,
I was laughing
as I ran
into the grass...

there were no statues there
there was a sense of quiet
though I could not hear it
the field shrugged its shoulders
and laughed

I cannot hold my breath
while you build an empire
cannot be the unknown civilian
In this game of cat and mouse

words worked all his life
words as weapons, laughed off
the next day would come again,
his comfort was the pain of confirmation
a life of toil
in a bed of shallow soil

So now in silence
why he waits alone
the bed is wide and vapid
when empty
and do I even care?
Do I even care?

Black Houses

In black houses
where the energy remains
ice from the walls
wets the floors
clouds are forming
in the rafters
where I live...

The forms that floated
in the rooms upstairs
have descended onto
the graveyard heirs
read the stones
what do they say?
What do they say?

A glimpse

and every guitar will lift you up
like a whip of wind
wrapping itself around the sound,
caught in a glimpse,
a red wine hangover,
the first blink of the morning
and a long exhale...

and oh how I wait to breathe
how I wait to breathe
how I wait to breathe
for the last sigh of truth
to be perceived.

Suddenly Everything Has Changed

God, everything feels so heavy right now. I feel like a child who doesn't understand why things are the way they are, and my heart is hurting because I don't know how to change things and make them better. Where is superman when I need him? Or just someone who could tell me how I can ever find happiness that isn't tainted. At the very least how to keep from making things worse or at least stop caring if its fucked up.

I thought it was already hard and heavy and overwhelming. now it all just feels out of my reach, like I've failed again trying to make other people comfortable, trying to make a relationship stable that isn''t built to be so. what on earth am I doing? I have never felt so lost in my life.

I'm melting away

Won't somebody Take my hand,
I'm looking for the lantern man

Will I ever understand?

Romance cannot ever seem to keep up with Time

and

What Makes A Man A Man?

Close Your Eyes

And I'm looking at the clock
turning down the lights
what seems like a memory
of an old conversation
replaying
melting together
once sentence after the other
they all go by now
sounding the same
feeling the same
what on earth I am doing here
listening to the same song
I didn't find joy in
the first time around
it snows and shows
and from into the fade
I slowly melt away
and I'm gone...

CO 2 elements released....

have forgotten where I started
didn't see when we parted,
but somewhere
and I don't know when
our paths diverged in a wood....
and the difference is...
I swear....
I swear there was a difference
that made everything
into something that wasn't
what it looked like...glad to
know I can change it away from
something its not....

the moon is white
and cold.....
and filled with holes

Thank you Paul Simpson for freeing my mind...
IN this alchoholic state
the luxury of space
the lines of every satellite,
streaking across the sky
remind me that I cannot let myself forget
that I matter,
that some form of who I am has made a difference,
made a connection,
made something worth remembering
or being remembered.

I cannot give up in pain
or forget who I am.
I cannot ask that others become the
people I would like them to be.
that every notion I had or have had
will one day be real in some time
and space
and even if its just the moon
and its only me singing
that its not an empty moon
and that its full of hope
and I am not that stupid little kid
and that I have feelings that matter
while the guitars play
and the drums linger
and my tiny self
is free for just one moment
called forever
and forever can last as long as I want it
or need it to.
I forgive you
I release you
I let go of the part of you
that I hate
I have lived too long
I have sung the wrong song,
I have become the thing I hate the most
adn forgotten where I started.
Don't forget to love this even
when you don't rythme.
even when you don' t make it....
even when you can no longer fake it
and the guitar plays
and the moon is full of holes
and white....

Don't let go

All the dust that has collected in me
will be washed away
sometime...
and all the bastards
who would not listen
when I tried to tell the time
will hear me

You got to give everything you've got
before you give up and give in to rot
but there is a lesson in the wilderness
temptation is an evil mistress

will you hear me
when I try to tell you the time
will you listen to me
when I am spending my last dime
drop it on you
I am calling
will the bastards remember
when I am fallen

Babe, I am tired
but I am so damn wired
like a cable connection
lost in reflection
what do I see in me on the other side

well, I'm hiding
the sun is out
and its just blinding.
I cower behind these rocks
for a little while...
you feel like you're spent
while other's find you magnificent

I'm trying to let go
I'm trying to let the real me show
in this crazy race
where only rats win
I don't want either of us to give in
I believe...

Another War - another way forward....

I wanted to come back from my self imposed break with something extraordinary and breathtaking but I'm afraid-well not afraid but less than thrilled-that it hasn't been exactly a sea change. I think I have put some of the pieces in place to move forward and some other things are in motion for positive changes ahead.

and of course there's always some poetry.
--------------------
I grabbed my phone
lifted if off the glass orchid shelf
I sensed the world was falling apart
or maybe it twas the water on my face
Left over from the battle yesterday
another set of tears
from another war

that came back from the darkened sea
right back from the left in pieces
near apartments on the beach.
conch shells whistled for the dying
sailors buried beneath the surf
Soliders from the last
conversational exploration...
resting in the earth.

Blog Haitus

I'm outta here until further notice.

Darkness in the dust rising from the trees at night

Glittering like a pinball machine,
like silver surfing on the water
when you're looking up at the skies.
disintegrating atoms exploding in mercury.

overhead....dreams; fluid, moving, swirling.

More dreams...pianos, petals, metal in synergy.
Watching the seasons curl..
watching the back of my eyes...
Azure blue velvet gasses steaming.
like hail on a tin roof streaking by,
Like flaming swords,
like love at the end of the world...

I don't know how or what it is...

But I'll be there

When the only reaction
is no reaction
no satisfaction
or reasonable suggestion,
just open mouths,
and the voids...

Got to break away
from the frozen ice
clinging to my life
announce myself
in someone else's eyes
not taking shots
at close range targets
like those firing ranges
from so long ago.

in the last few notes
from the evening nocturne
where darkness leaks
from the holes in the floor
replacing the light
with the blackness
that hides inside
the holes in my mind
where I turn the key
and close the door.

Is there a pill
that can make one turn back
or at least turn away from
the bad things we sometimes
drift through and into?
like no plans existed,
or were somehow erased.
a veil was lowered,
not lifted
over oceans of shards
glissening like razors
exploding in the apocalypse...

Healing

It just goes on and on....

Seriously, the last two months have been too chaotic to try and glean anything from worth mentioning twice in the same breath. Life has continued, I am still alive and my fingers, with some remaining sensitivity, have healed up pretty well. I will start writing again in a few days. Lots is on the horizon. So much potential...its time to realise some of it this year. A new president, a new dawn, another chance to find bliss.