Chaos

You say its chaos
and it is
because if you will something
to be
then it becomes real.
not as flesh
but moreso
than memory
a fleeting glimpse
into madness
no need for epiphany.
I try to avoid it
while not avoiding you
but you claim
we're not happening
on the same page
as one.
I'm so tired
of trying to please
of begging
and pleading
hoping to appease.
I just want the one thing
all of us want.
A life together
to fight the storms
instead of a lonely house
to haunt.
I once said I loved you
but I no longer know for sure.
it so difficult
to know
anything when emotions blur.
You want to be on the same page
you say chaos is you normal
why wait for a break in the clouds
its never coming
I keep on humming
hoping for a change in
the weather.