Shootings, Dollar and day-lates, some poetry (after a spell.)

flying cars,
shooting stars?
they're all secrets
we still can't see.

Don't want to talk of the
divided states,
insurance rates,
all of us tossed
to the fates.

the paradigm is smoothly polished,
engrained in the strains
of our dark undergrowth,
apron strings which act
as strangler figs
close out the last of
the light and the fight
(of blue eyes, stale pints
 Irish jigs and queer delights).

Things are perhaps fucked up
and slightly perfect in their own ways,
being used for that which they were designed
to misalign the patterns of the spring.

Lights on strings, hewn logs in a straight line
dances with in lux and stretches away from the trees
like a darkness out here, it goes for miles
from the warm reds of autumn to
the sunburst finish.

Frightened again by a new day
wheels spinning but faster and in less control
despite the centrifugal forces pushing
down the weight of the wet clay
From Brilliant and perfect
to broken and chaos and disorder
and down it all rains.

scared and skipped and tripped up, careless.
my courage fails, sails, nails it down,
yet is full of fear.

You cannot forget
how we captured it.
your head spins
the day we met
don't stop talking about chance.

Now it is so,
we know secrets.
as cars shoot by
we fly by stars.

The Needless And The Damage Done / Heiresy

boundless streams
of the same old story
retold an infinitum
muscles contract
old trees split
for the hollow absence
to take shape
as bikes pedal themselves
clocks unwind
descend and prattle
out of time
in halos.

his face was
wet leaves lashed over
like appliques
anointed teardrops
for the unholy
trinity
friends, family
failures fractured
like antique vases
dropped by careless
derelicts into
the sea.

of soapbox derby
plaid shirts and dustbowl
smiles filled with razors
paradoxically family infirmary infinity
insanity irritability
measured by proximity
forged in the outer limits
like lovers in the Boar's war
desiring nothingness
in the absence
of uncertainty curtailed
to a snail's pace
and sleep.

--------

You hate me
then you complain when I'm not around
You refuse to get to know me
then claim you don't understand
You put endless hurdles in my way of staying close to you
then complain I am distant
You wish I was around more
then create opportunities that don't include me-on purpose.
Seriously, fuck off.
No wonder dealing with family makes me feel like I am crazy.
hey if the straight jacket fits?
Enough!
I'm not going out of my way anymore.
you want help? help yourself.
I'm not a punching bag here to squeeze good intentions out of when it serves
your purposes.
I don't want to know.
I don't care anymore.
you can't complain about the distance
when its YOUR fucking arm in between that's holding us apart.
one would think you would care more, give a shit, make an effort at least based on previous
grievances. Now you can take all those excuses and reasons and blow them out of your box. take your game of smoke and mirrors and go play with someone who gives a fuck.

Thoughts on a Lizard

There were two lizards once.
They didn't have names.
Just lizards really,
not big ones.
Just simple
alligator lizards.
Part of the ecosystem.
Eating bugs.
moss, other smaller lifeforms.
Everyday they were there.
I would find them.
Everyday.
Some days sunning themselves.
ravishing in the
scorching sun.
Other times
hiding in dead
christmas trees,
hidden as if
branches.
sleeping,
for the fog
must be lifting
I saw them.
Many places
adjacent to
where I was working.
thinking.
smoking.
breaking from
the tyranny
of lifting 50lbs
bags of cement
no place to vent,
no one to hear
my desperate cry.
anguished, trying
to figure out
what was wrong with me.
why couldn't I be
purposeful in my
existence?
Why was I left
hobbled by doubt
and here
where two lizards
bathed, eating
mud and bugs
achieving a level of
perfecting I
could never know.
I fed them.
Gave them crushed bugs
to eat.
playing my
own part
in the bigger scheme
of things.
I admired their
persistence.
existence
on a much simpler
plane-freed from the
notion of nothingness
of emotional turmoil.
not embroiled by
tribulation.
Beautiful, eternal
perpetual and
timeless.

I figured the lesson was there before me if I wanted to learn something. I still think about the level of calm these two lizards(obviously a pair-a male and female-their skulls are very different in width from male to female)exhibited while I either held them or moved them repeatedly. I often acted in their own best interest over my own while cleaning a rather large yard side area full of debris, including making sure that no cement dust was left on the soil-which can burn their skin and making sure I checked each large piece of trash or dead wood as I scrapped it-so that they didn't get 'bagged' or crushed in the removal process. This caused a few stirs with Mark but I don't care. The animals were more important to me. They lived with truth and I felt deserved the right to live. The chance to let nature take its course, not be wiped out by one man's carelessness. IN my mind there is no greater life form. all living things have a value and a worth. Even though I eat meat and consume my fair share of resources as a human being-I like to think that I do my best to co-exist with nature and my place in the food chain and to show other living things I come into contact with respect-even when I might be eating them.

I referred to them as Jack and Jill because they were always on the hill together.

And yeah, this IS that lizard.



Look at that Stare!! Like he wants to kill your whole family and THEN burn the house down. Notice to the mice-you WILL be eaten!!

This is the female.



even though she was smaller she was still a good 11 inches in length. he was almost 12". There is probably a crude dick joke in there but I'll let it go for now. ;)