The Passage Of Time Leaves / Daylight Savings

Tonight at work while helping a customer, there was a loud bang, followed by the familiar sound of a collision.

Tires squealed. I knew there had been an accident. Minutes later there were sirens. Then more sirens. Ambulances. I could not step out to see what had happened initially. Instead I had to keep helping customers, some of whom were starting to come in, telling us something had happened.

"There is a body in the street." Somebody had been hit. Two cars had collided in the midst of the maelstrom, either as part of, or the root cause of the accident. As traffic to the area was summarily curtained off, customer intake dwindled. Eventually, I was able to go outside. The yellow sheet I had seen once before was there, slumped against the planter, dark liquid or some darkened mass beneath it running onto the street. I looked up the street, realizing what I just heard was witnessed about about 200 people out shopping during the Saturday night dinner and bar scene. Right in front of Whole Foods, about 80 feet from our front door, were many hundreds of people now gathering, surrounded by several trucks, police and emergency workers.

Then I had to go back in and help customers. For an hour.  I guess I must have this down, because I went on autopilot, thinking about how what if Bob read about this on the news and thinks it was me crossing the street? This level of freak out, I do not want.

A co-worker says there are some people who are outside saying they think he may have purposely dove in front of the car, not tripped as others say or saw. I know a bit about how people witness an accident or experience can differ greatly among eyewitnesses, so I tried not to pay attention to it. Later on the way home, I saw how it also totally disrupted all the inbound traffic on market for many hours.

At work I have difficulty counting out my drawer. I feel very anxious. Everyone's awareness seems...heightened. I cannot wait to get home. the day had been long before this. Our computers had gone down this morning, about 10 minutes after after I got on the floor. It was chaos, probably the biggest pain I had experienced since working there. It was only about 30 minutes but it seemed like forever. I didn't sleep again. Weird dreams. Missing Bob. Such a strange day and this caps the evening.

I am so grateful for whatever experience or joy it is that I have, and doubly so for those that others may not. Life is so quick. You can work so hard all your life for nothing, or be gifted beyond belief and die early. Survival is more about chance than is truly is about anything else. I've seen it up close too many times myself to mention here. It seems only by accident that most of us remain here sometimes. Whatever happens is going to happen. Maybe the only takeaway is you have to be joyful in the moment no matter what.

I know tonight I am home enjoying my life while someone else's life has suddenly been changed forever. I am so very fortunate to not be the man beneath that yellow sheet. Or anyone else directly involved for that reason. I hope that whatever good energy I am trying to put out into the universe will counter this, even if that is just to smile at somebody, for just a moment.

Tiptoe (In A Quiet City)

the creaking floor
unbrushed dust under husks
of dead bugs in the window sills glistening
wind blows, quiet / mercy / set for sailing days
little boy dreams if freedom
instilled with science
sirens, always sirens
in the dark hours
the bodies fall
like clock points
like victimless heroes
laid out to be weathered by the caustic rains

peaches gleam
in the repetition of harvest
captured in this painting
creatures scurry by in the measured hush
of the silos
the pomegranates crushed under
hooves of horses marching in random figures
ghosts of cowboys
riding leather and burlap carpets
dancing in the sky
in ethereal antiquity
riding into silence
sun forgotten trees.

autumn early
here now to earth
any one thing
kept in stasis
too long
left for
forgetting
laughter
running
jumping
standing
barely
quiet
eventually. /

Damn, Damn, Damn!!!

Ok, the short version of this story is that I have cut the tip of my right ring and middle finger off. I was cutting some tile with a razor knife and while going over the middle of the cut I shifted my weight-probably to get leverage on the cut. In the process of which I edged my right ever forward into the path of the cut. I realized in about 1 second I had seriously cut myself when the blood was running down my hand. I looked at the back side from about 2 feet away at waist height. It looked fine until I flipped it over. At that moment a tiny capillary surged and a tiny squirt of blood gushed out of the end of the ring finger, or at least what was still there.

Oops. Oh...man...this is really bad Steve. what did you do?

so here's what's now missing(persons) shown in superimposed red.



damn. $900 down. the. drain. no more keyboards for a while, or guitar. ack....

My finger tips are in some garbage can(no point in trying to re-attach them as there's not enough tissue. At the hospital, thankfully via my own pressue. the rest is blur. I will write more when I find out more.