Consume Perpetual Sea

we're down
like deep sea
like flying saucers
landing
underwater
we don't get around
much anywhere
up where they
still breathe the air

we swim
still equally
spread over the surface of
all things wet
we don't care of the sky anymore
we're blue
and down deep inside
we've got a watery fortress
and strange powers
and old books with
no pages staged like
spoken pinter
plays in
witty 1960s London
we'll go
dressed in white
and cordoba black
silver clouds
names changed into nouns
here comes no one
have some flowers
it all goes black
the sea is never slack
death remembers
to go back
everything dry and of
the land goes back
the last whip of the film ending swings
like Townsend's arm in
a perpetual future dream.
sell it all
tickets for the
lost carousel
wooden laughing
horses rising and singing
your name
before the flames
consume.

Face Fading On the Western Ridge

a hundred new feet
without a name
clear but different
not connected
in no books
not the same
turned away
no named
with such strains happy
the man he says
happier than a whisper.

Come On Pilgrim

In the back seat of your car / the view from the books in your school / is blinding

DVD LIST (A-Z) 2012 Update

list of dvds

A Single Man
The Abyss
Adventures of Ichabod Crane/Wind In the Willows
The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert
Alice in Wonderland
Air Force One
Alien
Aliens
Aliens vs Predator
Alien Vs. Predator: Requiem
Alive
Arachnophobia
Army of Darkness
Avatar
Aviator
Backdraft
Back to the Future 1,2 & 3
Batman Returns
Bats
Bauhaus : Gotham
Bedknobs & Broomsticks
Beetlejuice
The Birds
Bladerunner: Director's Cut
Blazing Saddles
Blue Velvet
Boys n The Hood
Brave Little Toaster
Brazil:Box Set
Breakfast Club
The Bridge
John Cale / Fragments For A Rainy Season
Candyman
Casino Royale
Chicken Run
Chip & Dale
Clash of The Titans(2009)
Close Encounter of The Third Kind
Cloverfield
Commando
Anton Corbin Videos
Corpse Bride
Crazies, The
Chris Cunningham Videos
Dark Crystal
Dawn of The Dead
The Day After Tomorrow
Dark Knight, the
Day of The Dead
Daybreakers
Dead Ringers
Dead Snow
Dead Zone
Deep Impact
The Departed
Die Hard
District 9
The Doom Generation
The Doors
Dracula
Dune
Edward II
Edward Scissorhands
Eraserhead
Erasure Videos
Escape From New York
Evil Dead II
Existenz
Fantasia 1,2 & Legacy(boxset)
Fantastic Four:Rise of the silver surfer
Ferris Bueller's Day Off
Finding Nemo
Neil Finn: Seven World Collide
Firestarter
The Fearless Freaks:the flaming lips
Flatliners
Fright Night
From Hell
Fourth Kind, the
Fog
The Fountain
Fugitive, the
Gamer
Gladiator
Goodfellas
Goonies
Gothika
Gremlins
Best Of Phil Hartman(SNL)
Haunting
Harold and Maude
Hellraiser
History of The World Part I(Mel Brooks)
Robin Hitchcock: Gotta Let This Hen Out
Robin Hitchcock Storefront Hitchcock
Robin Hitchcock: Sex, Bugs, Food and Insects
Hollow Man
Hunt For Red October
Inception
Incredibles, the
Independence Day
I, Robot
Indiana Jones (box set)
Indiana Jones and The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull
Iron Giant
Iron Man
Iron Man 2
Jacob's Ladder
James and The Giant Peach
Jaws
Joy Division: Here Are The Young Men
Jurassic Park (box set)
Jurassic Park: The Lost World
Jurassic Park III
Jurassic Park: Making Of DVD
Kraftwerk: Minimum / Maximum
Kung Fu Panda
Ladyhawk
Labyrinth
Land of the Dead
League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
Lord of The Rings:Fellowship of the Ring
Lord of The Rings:Two Towers
Lord of The Rings:Return Of The King
Lost Boys
Love & Rockets: Haunted Fishtank
Love Is The Devil
Madonna: Videos
Matrix
Matrix Reloaded
Matrix Revelations
Mary Poppins
Meaning of Life
Medicine Man
Michael, George: Ladies and Gentlemen Videos
Milk
Mirrors
Mommy Dearest
Morriseey: Oye Esteban
Morrissey: Who put the M in Manchester
Mysterious Skin
New Jack City
Night of The Comet
Nightmare on Elm Street
Nightmare Before Christmas
Night of the Living Dead
9
Nomi Song
101 Dalmatians
Pandorum
Paris is Burning
Patriot Games
Pi
Pet Shop Boys videos
Pirates of the Caribbean
Pirates of the Caribbean 2
Pirates of the Caribbean 3
Point Break
Poltergeist
Polar Express
Prince of Darkness
Prestige
Predator
Public Enemies
Purple Rain
Quarantine
REM Videos
Requiem For A Dream
Return of The Living Dead
Return of The Living Dead II
Robocop
Romancing The Stone
Saving Private Ryan
Secret of Nihm
Sherlock Holmes
Sick and Twisted Animation Festival
Sick and Twisted Animation Festival 2
Silence of The Lambs
Simpson's Series I
Simpson's Series II
Simpson's Series III
Simpson's Series IV
Simpson's Series V
Simpson's Series VI
Simpson's Series VII
Simpson's Series IX
Simpson's Series X
Simpson's Series XI
Simpson's Series XII
Simpson's Series XIII
Simpsons Movie
Sleeping Beauty
Slither
Smiths Videos
Snow White & The Seven Dwarves
Something Wicked This Way Comes
Source Code
Speed
Spider
Spiderman
Spiderman 2
Spiderman 3
Splendor
Star Wars I, II & III(box set)
Sweeney Todd
Terminator
T2
Terminator: Salvation
Thelma and Louise
Thing, the
300
Time Bandits
Tony
Total Recall
Toy Story I + 2(box set)
Toy Story 3
Tron
Tron Legacy
12 Monkeys
24 Hour Party People
28 Days Later
28 Weeks Later
2010
2012
Twister
U2 Videos
Up
Warriors
Watchmen
Watership Down
Robin Williams: Live on Broadway
Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory
Who Framed Roger Rabbit
Witches of Eastwick
Wolfman
X-Men
X2(X-men 2)
X-men 3:Last Stand
X-Men Origins: Wolverine
Young Frankenstein
Zodiac
ZombieLand

The Fog Remade/Reviewed

Generally one remakes a film because they feel there is something missing, something that can be improved on or done better. Sometimes they are updated to make them more relevant to 'today's audience' which is usually code for 'younger/more familiar actors', 'needs more gore' or someone has a career they are trying to promote, depending on the whim of the director. This film has all three, including introducing a needless love story angle which just fizzles based on the way the characters are presented. Instead of a creepy soundtrack, I'm expected to be terrorized by a bunch of pop songs? Hardly menacing in any way and worse, serving to immediately date the film.

The movie is shot well-its not hard to look at and the people you are supposed to sympathize with are all very pretty/sexy. I was thinking with a little money and some newer actors and the available technology/effects they would at least do something daring with the film. Instead it was one endless nu horror cliche after another with CW/television level acting. In addition, the characters were just so unsympathetic. The main character is cheating on the girlfriend with the DJ which is explained away because the girlfriend just "Up and left town for 6 months" without saying where she was. Huh? So essentially, she is missing for half a year? When he happens to pick her up on the main road into town, ala Jamie Lee Curtis' character in the original, they just go on like "hey no big deal, glad you're home! lets have sex!" Her mom acts like some cold cardboard Ice Storm extra, the priest is either totally drunk or totally sober depending on what scene and "Stevie Wayne" the heroine of the original is acted by Blair like some house cat who dialed in what is probably one of the worst performances in the film though not the only one.

While the effects in the original film are simply done and creepy due to looking 'natural' (i.e. its really 'fog' they created in much of the first film) whereas every sequence where the CGI is used feels forced-I'm thinking particularly of the scene with the aunt burning up but the fog itself it too digitized to be creepy). Really the only sequence that was interesting to watch were with the Elizabeth Dane, where the make up seemed good, the effects natural looking and the acting believable. Sadly, I cannot say the same for the rest of the film.

The only person I felt sorry for was the old man with his dogs but his story arc seems unexplainable and meaningless, other than showing cruelty towards him and his dogs. In the original film, this doesn't even matter. Dogs are shown barking, not being left as a steaming corpse on a dock or worse yelping in pain in the darkness. What would the dead even care about the dogs anyway since the plots revenge angle is about the people? You can tell a lot of this was created to please a very specific demographic (I'm thinking people who watch the Buffy,  or those who feel the Final Destination films are rife with pathos) but if you wanted to see a reasonably scary horror film, this isn't the one.

This film has so many plot holes that, rather than the viewer being able to ignore them, the film collapses into them. I am not sure why Carpenter was even involved other than writing and directing the original. This isn't the worst film I have ever seen, but I really felt like it didn't do the main thing a horror film should do which was to scare me or at least keep me entertained and it did neither.

From A Hill Over The River

a hill
from underneath
is invisible
still flowers
growing through
point swaying towards the sun
like any golden ray would
tell it on to lock
the beating polyrhythms
create aural light cascades
as though ridden
farther away
to face winds
blown down crippling corridors
the dark ends of the street
quiet for nothing but
alibis clinging
together like cold
hands rippling
leathery parchments
creased in
the basement
of mercy street

Old Cynicism For the New Year

jagged rays of moon
lay dead and fallen
fallow and callous
in the light
of all seasons
as they go by,
as Persephone sings her song
and is dragged down
along with her seeds
and her frown
to harvest a new
tomorrow.

That Books Should Find Hollow Spaces To Fill

my suit catches
fire again
on closed circuit
television
the lens fails to capture
the texture of my
textile reminder
to find
the expression
the respect for dissection
sharp instruments
and destination gasses
in the
repetition frames
glazed with the
space bar
drinks in the afterzone
blanketed by
astral girls
and stars like pearls
exploded across
dimensions
that we wasted
we were trying to find anything
anyone left
who was living
before
we stuffed any one
into the ovens or the homes
and forgot them
(bang)
white lights
explosions
hello...?
just pick up
just a voice to ease the pain
just another bout
of wrongful information
terminated while receiving
broken interception
discovered covered with blood
upon
disco very tired to train the same
but the name is scrubbed
until your are lone
until you are done
until you turn into a butterfly
or a dove
or just left like a piece of felt
mashed into the mud
totally submerged and
numb another number on a bullet
in a gun measured out in cups
no more pain
the gods are coming again
the ship is done
it only comes to take one
like some floating balloon
off to the moon
when I thought the clock
had come to take me
a vow to the silence
dream avoidance
and the screams
of the last light
-------------------
(unfinished)

Still Beating / Moving, Counting

isn't that what we all want?
a hand to hold
us in the darkness
someone close
who we surely know
will protect us.
not to be alone
in a cage
but full of love
and to be saved
from whatever loss
might be in store
and the coldness of the winter
and those whose lives
it helps endure
a little sunlight
I bring to you
I don't know
your name
yet but someday
soon
a new name
an old game
to play again
and some new heart
to fill with love
I surely still
have to give again.

Xmas is here! / Art is near! / Kitties are dear!

Ev'ry Time We Say Goodbye A Little

These last two are the last pictures I ever took of Tweed and I together. The first one is really the last time we got to play, taken late Sunday evening. He used to do the cutest thing and pull my hand towards his chest with one paw when he was feeling better and let me rub his tummy-this is the last time I got to do that with him although my hand is out of camera sight, it is lying gently more against than 'on' so I didn't add any unnecessary weight. It had been a while since he had done this particular behavior so Sunday night, the last night he seemed to be hanging in there, I got out my camera. I got out my phone. I took copious pictures. Tweed managed not only to tolerate me snapping in his face(on silent mode of course) and taking several videos, including what turned out to be his final vocalizing, taken Saturday night. I will forever be thankful to Robert for not only being my pillar through all this, covering the financial aspects and being with me tuesday. If he hadn't suggested this I would have been so wrapped up in the 'now' I wouldn't have had any space to think about recording anything. I even managed to capture something I rarely did on film which is him swishing around his little paw in his water bowl before drinking. IN all these years I had never managed to get a shot. He somehow was actually strong enough to stand on three legs(he wobbled a lot though) with one paw in the water, then in his mouth, then back in the water until he finally felt safe to drink. more is coming but i am out of energy to write anything else tonight

For Tweed - part I

I only want you to rest
no heaviness or painful hungering
no dull ache
in your chest
thousands of memories
cheerful times
and joyful
declivities
with so many in back
and so few left
to go
I call your name
and think of good times
again
you
as a kitten
small, shy
the last of your
band of brothers
to find somewhere
forever
for keeping my chair warm
the merry go round cat
who loved Loved LOVED
being spun around in chairs
until literally dizzy
then he'd jump back in and say
"lets do it again!"
the funniest habit of
swishing his paw around in the water
bowl until deciding it was
'Tweed approved"
and then drinking normally.
it won't be the same christmas without you and your
brother josquin who will
forever have a home on my tree
you have both
forever changed
the course and length of my life
for all your howling yowling
and endless meowing
you maybe never knew this
but you felt it
that you kept me from killing myself
back in 2007,
and all of 2005
when we all moved together
and put up with some really odd situations
and you were with me
through all of it
and you still loved me
even when I moved
again and
again.
you made friends with dogs!
My sisters two yappy little ones
but you soon won them over
even 'sleeping with the enemy'
when I was out of town
you could make friends with anyone
who would give you a chance
and we'd dance around the room
like two fools
listening to Squeeze sing
"Cool For Cats"
Josquin taught you to talk
but you did it your own way
and never has a cat sounded more
like a cranky old man
than you did.
you started off as "Speedy"
which I hated,
Lee named you Tweedy
as in Tweedy Bird
which I thought was lame
and so Tweed you became
a little old sounding man in a tweed coat
and the prettiest green eyes
I've yet seen on a cat
a rambunctious funny chittering cat
who was virtually never ill
until almost the end
I want nothing for you
other than the most happiness
and barring that, the least suffering.
I know its time because you are not your old self
your eyes are dimmed and I know your constant
pacing and movement indicate discomfort
I think not about how much time is left
but of how much time we've had
and in the inbetween time
When you see your old friend and brother Josquin
there is plenty of grass
to run in again
lot of toys
and the BEST snacks
So its not ever goodbye
its until we meet again
old friend.
--------

Cats are reincarnated Gay men

Only Love Keeps Us Alive

until it circles back
and we all
are fire
angels in
some grand
parade

Between Everything And Nothing Is The Absolute

where the directionless
wandering
which way does
the wind blow
does it take
100,000 glasses
wine, blood or memories
to bring
a blush
to the snow
rotund and white and dormant
like huge some
monumental Christo
sculptures made
out of air
looking at
sideways
escaping passes
of fair flames
hot orange snakes
and pain
that washes away
if I could
there would
be more harmony
more minutes
less deleted scenes
can't you see
everything that happens between now
and this
is captured
in dreams
or in colors
lost in a
forgotten breeze
last rites
last nights rescinded
the hand ticks one more
over and then
never will
it tick in time
again.

Cat Foods

There are a lot of cat foods, wet ones in particular, that feature phosphorus as a ingredient even though its terrible for cats with low kidney functioning. Oddly enough its seems its the 'holistic' and all natural ones that often feature this-plus it is often added as a vegetable matter preservative even though cats are obligate carnivores and don't process any real nutritional value from vegetable matter. So when you see foods that have peas, carrots, green beans they generally have higher levels of phosphorus added in the mix. Same goes for Fish based foods, its loaded with them. Which is why I will never feed my cats tuna out of can EVER again even as a treat. Water from the tuna(not oil) is okay poured over other dry kibble foods at a treat but no more of the tuna itself, even low sodium varieties.

Questions for Dr. Ina

1. he is now experiencing what appears to be diarrhea and a slightly sore or irritated anus. Is this because he is still dehydrated or from the antibiotics? If it is should he be on Mitranidizole to keep that under control. It seems like the treatment may keep him dehydrated if it persists since is he eating/drinking so little.

2. Should I be looking for way to make him eat? is it better that he eats a certain amount of food? I know he is weak and part of his bathroom trouble is around being too weak. He pooped on the bathroom floor and on my bed today. Is this "overflow incontinence"? I have a feeling it is because is is too weak/constipated or still dehydrated. Is it possible that the kidney infection came from a UTI? if so would that be kick using the same antibiotic?

3. Since lack of appetite from the pain of the infection has kept him from eating, Would putting him a low does of steroids boost his appetite without hurting him?

3. Ask about what the final stages of kidney failure will look like so I can avoid any unnecessary or prolonged pain. Other than obvious physical signs like crying or deep breathing, what should I look for?

as of today he is still cleaning, still purring. His eyes and ears look okay. I shove his favorite treats at him every time I interact with him. he has eaten at least three teaspoons full of treats today. I gave him some this morning. Mark gave him some this afternoon while he was upstairs, I gave him some this afternoon in my room and then he ate about 6 or 7 when he got his evening fluids. I just gave him 3 more now. I measured out that many into an empty fancy feast can and it just about fills it up. Plus I gave him some fresh ground turkey(first time ever) just to see if he would take some. He did, about 3 thimbles full by my eye. I am guessing that he has eaten about 1+1/4 cans of food. He licked a few times in the wet fancy feast tuna but didn't touch it after that. Maybe tomorrow I will try the packaged low sodium tuna and see if that works. Heck, I am just trying anything at this point. anything....

Meh...

This is so hard dealing with Tweed being sick, knowing that every night I spend with hi next to me in bed may be his last, after already losing Josquin and then Mack. Its too much at once. I know that is how life comes at you and I should put on my big boy pants but I just want to crawl into a corner and make all the bad stuff...I don't know...somehow less achingly sad? Thinking about food and work and timing Tweed's meds, projects on the go, job hunting which is just sucking balls right now. I had a nice phone conversation with a man at Kohler, who was recruiting people willing to relocate(not paid for) to a unpaid internship. He jokingly said "If I have to sift through another 3,000 resumes I'll keel." "really, 3,000?" I said. "well, actually its closer to 3,200-something but its sucks because now EVERYONE is overqualified because people that were formerly white collar are now after essentially blue collar jobs, so you get stuff like lawyers trying to work as secretaries, programmers used to making 6 figures now going for administrative jobs making $60,000. Kind of scary."

Babe...I'm just hanging on a clock. without you..I shudder to think....really terrifying.

Mr. Mooshy Face

Note to Self II

"Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for." -Epicurus