I have always been one of those people that tried my best to get behind ideas and projects people suggested I get involved with, either because I felt like the idea was good or because the thought of working with somebody I enjoyed spending time with sounded like a good idea. However, I am coming to the conclusion that anytime I put a lot of personal energy behind these types of projects, it seems like when the other people involved eventually lose interest I am stuck holding the bag of unfinished work, or it turns out I have done the bulk of the work myself, even though the idea was to work together. Ever have one of those awkward moments when you find out someone who you thought you trusted was giving you lip service, saying they wanted to involve you in something and then finding out they went ahead and just did whatever they wanted to do, chose not to involve you, not to communicate that they were doing so and left it at that? When asked the situation they just sort of passed the fact off as no big deal? Well, I just had one of those realizations.
Yeah, well maybe from now on you can NOT finish projects on your own.
What I am also noticing is that any time I seem to generate ideas on my own, not only do they get finished(even if they take years to develop) but they get done well-and they keep getting better over time. The bigger question I am wondering about it the why. Why have I wanted to get behind other people's ideas but getting them motivated to understand and believe in mine seems exponentially harder? Thank goodness there are a few people who do support my work and ideas-we just don't work together on things. Why can't I work with THOSE people?
Fuck it. Well thought out projects where I am compensated for the work I do, my interest and time is worth putting in and recognized and appreciated, great, fine-bring it. Other stuff where people seem willy-nilly about commitment-please take that shit elsewhere-I'm not interested in helping you explore whether you want to do this or not until you decide you are bored/too stressed out about your life/etc. I have spent too much time and emotional energy trying to be the 'supportive friend' and I see where that has gotten me-a back story that could have been filled with fabulocity is instead filled with half finished projects and unrealized ideas and ambitions because you were too distracted with your own wants and interests. You seem fine when it comes to pursuing things when you want or need them-so do that on your own.
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