Phrasology

I am well aware that my writing has a cyclical, repetitive nature. That I repeat certain phrases, terms and vocabulary over and over again, or by variation. When I was a younger writer, just starting out it bothered me when I did it. I(wrongly)thought it meant I couldn't think of anything new-or worse that I was copying myself. It was only later I came to understand how it fit into being an artist- if Turner could use the same blues in his skies, Tchaikovsky and Debussy could repeat phrases, then as the song says - "why oh why, can't I?"

I have come to a place in my life as an adult writer where I am less worried about the exact words than their color, or the feeling they evoke, the flow. Sometimes I nail them, other times I find them through tremendous fumbling. Most of the time I write-because I have to-in one large gallop from start to finish. I think it kind of precludes me writing a novel-I could never maintain one emotional arc or mechanical linear idea for too long. A script maybe if I had help. Lets just say you are unlikely to hear about the 'great' American novel I've been pounding away at all these years-poetry is a different story. Probably going to need help with any autobiography too. I'll have to talk it out. Hope those tapes never surface!

My stories come out as chaotic, fragmented overly emotional, often cerebral in nature. Sometimes its an overwhelming surrender to joy-my music reviews often have this quality-but get me on to personal subjects and things tip inwards and to darkness. I can't help it. The phasers have always been set to stun. I don't want to kill anyone but I want them to take an emotional response away.

I write because I often have to-and always have, but I'm not worried about the Booker prize or being on the list of great American writers. I'm neither when I think on it. I guess I would categorize myself as a world citizen with a European bent. Its like being able to breathe. words come out when you exhale but you can sing(with some training) while breathing IN. I think that is where my writing works for me-you take things in and blend them in a concoction all your own.

and hope you don't poison anyone, at least.