I could never look for long....

winter left its spirit
on the streets of my soul
in that there were never enough
hours where I could let myself
off the hook for awhile

and I could never look for too long
the fear had its cold fingers in me
and I could never hunt for some solace
pushing against the darkness
is how I get my kicks
and free my spirit.

Winter left
and cast its name
skyward
horns blow
trees grow,
my subtle tide
breaks on the
Shores of Eden.

Righteous

"Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room."

Sketch Pad May 23rd, 2010

why does anybody need anything from me anyway
squeezing out the blood
from my heart wrapped in stone

I believe...
that true love never dies
and that I don't and cannot know
everything in this world,
but I can have fun
if I try

and why does anybody need me to be anything
don't know how long it will go
or how far

peeling off like wet sheets in the rain
whipped away into the mists of time.

And I believe
From the burst of perpetual motion
and ocean of ideas sprang
and sang of unheard song
when the days were new
and hearts were fired
before pistols and
distal relations
came to pass.

That you and I are of the earth
Like an orchid in the forest
I dip below the surface
unlike the other flowers
who follow the blistering light
in their heliotrophic failure
they fable the wrapped earth
pretending it is stable.

Its My Life in Photos

Its My Life

He spends saturday nights
on his own.
the curtains are drawn
no one else is home.
the darkness comes
as it does every night
through holes in the walls and floors
snuffing out the light.

you look at him and marvel
he doesn't understand why.
he looks into a mirror
sees the horror and looks away

what did I tell you about before?
the tired runs and rounds
the ghosts circling
over head and voices
that talk talk talk talk....

if there's a sound in this house
that isn't a creak,
or air leaking through hole
like a sieve
then you haven't seen th spirits
the candles that al;ight themselves
the hands that knock on every door
only alone in room
do they enter and laugh
and then its time to talk.
talk talk talk talk
the voices and choices
evaporate in the twilight
its the middle of my life
crisis by any other name.
try to shed the crushing shame
of not being good enough
to play some stupid game.

How can I pretend ?

Can't say that I am afraid,
cowering in the shelter
of the stars.
its getting late here,
shadows are long
walking down the road
dirt on fire
where the laughter
is dying
inside my head

carefully arranged

five drops of poison
and white cotton gloves
and the reigns of four demons
moving quickly overground
hooves pounding like thunder
under hard hitting shoes
in hanover street
he'll be waiting.
The carriage will take you there.
And stand aside
while flames devour
the blackness of the evenings ride
and the laundanum will drink itself
while the vapour
evaporates./

Why I LOVELOVELOVE Kristen Hersh

"Our shows were crazy, magic parties where the listeners played as big a role as the musicians. Music happens between people. We never forgot that."

Its like the only person who EVER managed to capture how deeply I feel about music, that the CD and the LPs are just the doorway and that the REAL music is what happens in between the musician, their music and the listener. THAT is music-and how awesome has it been to spend a lifetime enjoying having that place to run away from it all.

Go on girl...

So over You

I've got a bad case of history,
parts of my story,
suspended and unended
like an unfinished mystery
where obscure themes
leading off into nowhere.
no perfect lover ever there.
And neither are you,
its all an illusion,
a contusion,
its all too confusing.
Grinding up my memory bones.

seeds

On every breath
a curl of smoke,
evaporating voices
in the settling
blanket of darkness...

engines run
shoulder jostling
to and fro,
shoulder to shoulder
should we all fall?
Will it be into
the same place
or different for all?
Will it be filled
with songs and seed,
something we should plant
in every fallow field?

then the winds come
over the hill,
soil blown away by
clouds slithering across
champagne colored skies,
halfway between heaven
and earth, with its ice covered
lives spliting into
atoms mirroring in
the disappearing snow.

Two of the hardest things to deal with

In life or in anything is betrayal and lies. especially when they are used as an impetus top make others feel bad or denigrate another.

When its someone you once loved, its like death wraps his hands around your heart and squeezes.