(trumpets) Here

"I wake up every day
but I don't want it that way."
Brett Anderson -He's Dead

Well, I'm right depressed at the moment.

Its chemical surely, but with as many chemicals
as there are swirling in my brains right now
its almost impossible to
find out what is right and what is wrong
I think the answers are in my brain
or hidden deep within a song
I cry all the time.
the curl of my cats paw
as he sleeps
the beauty in a spider's web
delicately laced with dew
the first few seconds of crackle
at the beginning of every record
the cloud spinning past the window
when I look out
the stars seem lonely
as life and the hands of every clock
tick away
I ran away and was hidden by this city
this is the big time
the stars are all on the ground
but all the little voices
they will drown
one single voice
that's merely
in the way

WTF/FTW

What is the cadence
of a wasted youth?
the lapse of a breath
that begins with a howl,
right before it becomes absorbed
by the whirling vortex.
does it sound like that?

Again I pick up the prescription
for an unnecessary addiction
for medication that doesn't work
on a disease I don't have.

What becomes a legend most?
sucking all the blood from its host.

a volatile dream

my claw feet
grip the generation
before and after the
revolutions.

sadness.
it passes into a kiss and
then it is the only thing that
matters.

Zephyrs fly
and overhead
the voices in the sky that
tug at my shirt
lost in the stupor
the dreaded torpor and
the mortal coil.

blessed are those that sleep
blessed are those who sleep.
smoke and ash in a heap,
smoldering and replete
with its stern and steel
facade that will make you cry
blessed are those who sleep,
blessed are those that sleep...

Please let me find out why...
are the answers in the sky?
Will I find it in the stars?
passive and pale,
dreaming of what may
one day be a real life
now hidden in sleep...
blessed are those that sleep..
(its a real life better than mystery)
Are the answers in the sky?
hidden in sleep,
hidden in
hidden in sleep.

Sept 11th

"They whom we love and lose are no longer where they were before,They are now...
wherever we are"

anonymous - from the 9/11 tribute site

heroes and old ghosts

And would my tears fall into the sky
where heroes and old ghosts go to die
another winter here in the white hills
over green and pleasant yet distant lands
strange arms came to hold me in the night
just another layover until the morning light

won't someone tell me all the secrets
that I long to let go of
to throw into the wind
dismiss like a careless thought
I know...
it goes on and on
and on and on
and on....

the skin from my feet is gone

couldn't sleep again.
the rain in my brain was pounding
like thunderstorms over ancient oceans
body clenching and heaving
sheets wet with sadness and dissolution
impatience and impermanent
trying to find some safe spot to land on
to find home
somewhere with enough answers
so I won't keep looking.
a nest,
a haven
from the mavens and
their writing blocks
that I stack on and climb
hurriedly I scale the right-angled
formations until there is nothing
just the smooth white facade
of the reflection in itself
the mirror reversed
minus light
and hope.