Black Houses

In black houses
where the energy remains
ice from the walls
wets the floors
clouds are forming
in the rafters
where I live...

The forms that floated
in the rooms upstairs
have descended onto
the graveyard heirs
read the stones
what do they say?
What do they say?

A glimpse

and every guitar will lift you up
like a whip of wind
wrapping itself around the sound,
caught in a glimpse,
a red wine hangover,
the first blink of the morning
and a long exhale...

and oh how I wait to breathe
how I wait to breathe
how I wait to breathe
for the last sigh of truth
to be perceived.

Suddenly Everything Has Changed

God, everything feels so heavy right now. I feel like a child who doesn't understand why things are the way they are, and my heart is hurting because I don't know how to change things and make them better. Where is superman when I need him? Or just someone who could tell me how I can ever find happiness that isn't tainted. At the very least how to keep from making things worse or at least stop caring if its fucked up.

I thought it was already hard and heavy and overwhelming. now it all just feels out of my reach, like I've failed again trying to make other people comfortable, trying to make a relationship stable that isn''t built to be so. what on earth am I doing? I have never felt so lost in my life.

I'm melting away

Won't somebody Take my hand,
I'm looking for the lantern man

Will I ever understand?

Romance cannot ever seem to keep up with Time

and

What Makes A Man A Man?

Close Your Eyes

And I'm looking at the clock
turning down the lights
what seems like a memory
of an old conversation
replaying
melting together
once sentence after the other
they all go by now
sounding the same
feeling the same
what on earth I am doing here
listening to the same song
I didn't find joy in
the first time around
it snows and shows
and from into the fade
I slowly melt away
and I'm gone...

CO 2 elements released....

have forgotten where I started
didn't see when we parted,
but somewhere
and I don't know when
our paths diverged in a wood....
and the difference is...
I swear....
I swear there was a difference
that made everything
into something that wasn't
what it looked like...glad to
know I can change it away from
something its not....

the moon is white
and cold.....
and filled with holes

Thank you Paul Simpson for freeing my mind...
IN this alchoholic state
the luxury of space
the lines of every satellite,
streaking across the sky
remind me that I cannot let myself forget
that I matter,
that some form of who I am has made a difference,
made a connection,
made something worth remembering
or being remembered.

I cannot give up in pain
or forget who I am.
I cannot ask that others become the
people I would like them to be.
that every notion I had or have had
will one day be real in some time
and space
and even if its just the moon
and its only me singing
that its not an empty moon
and that its full of hope
and I am not that stupid little kid
and that I have feelings that matter
while the guitars play
and the drums linger
and my tiny self
is free for just one moment
called forever
and forever can last as long as I want it
or need it to.
I forgive you
I release you
I let go of the part of you
that I hate
I have lived too long
I have sung the wrong song,
I have become the thing I hate the most
adn forgotten where I started.
Don't forget to love this even
when you don't rythme.
even when you don' t make it....
even when you can no longer fake it
and the guitar plays
and the moon is full of holes
and white....