Must Obey

you caused me to remember the only one who has come and gone

it was a long time ago
I was younger
the cassette played
on my fischer brand stereo.
and that day
in November
you came in
and saved me
an unfilled book
with 'oh, so many illustrations'
it was and is
yeah it was and is
we chose to not remember
some days had sun
some days...
it was such a good day
some days
when I was 13 years old.

Sadly Beautiful

face mine
to turn away
sometimes the hot breath
holding it becomes
too much
sometimes
easier to face a sea of books
knowing warm hearts
beat in reverse
backwards to my wrongside
sadly moving
yet beautifully alone
in sleep dolphins dive
through to poems,
in dreams we're absolved.
alongside morning calls
bright lights and howling
yawls despite strangeness
turned to face
dangers together.

emptiness, longing
remembering closed limbs
simmering in the red lights
is it all so beautiful
that one forgets to recall
dull blinds, melon
rinds dried in the sun
and spider webs
untethered and swinging
like lace shawls in a miniature
squall, died down.
broken crowns
cracks in the side walk
after the first rain

(Bblang) Goodness

the inter comes
spiders pack up
mothers who walk
and stand for
confrontation hide
the knives and needles
and the bag man
no names, connection
or discomfort
control distorted and
filled with lore and liars
like my stories
we glow in the dark
lead it to shadows
and dirt
infidelity, inept
put the collar on
captain happen
before these planets
start again.

A Ritual Explanation

the lights are extinguished
the angels are ignited
the burning in the underground
is rising like a reverse rain
and driving rays
the perverse
without greediness,
or guile
quiet, bowed
somehow
without
you two
night.

Hey There! Molly Girl!

So Cute! The Chef is pretty darn handsome too!

Sting

holy crap, has that man made a deal with the devil or what? his new box set 25 Years is out and I would swear the picture on the front is him as a youthful 16-18 year old and nooo, for once in this godforesaken time of doctored everything, the photo is real. And recent, like, 2 months before the album? Huh? The man is a living testament to yoga and lots of sex(his given reason for staying in such great shape) plus he's down with herb. Say what you want about that shit he was peddling in the late 1990s, the man has written some of the most catchy songs of anyone, not just writers from his generation. Between him and the Police, there are, what? 34 Top 40 Singles, most of those top 10, and more than a few number ones. This man is no songwriting slouch. Take a page here guys. 7 kids, his wife is smoking. I've heard he's a conceited jerk, and what else would he be. Sometimes the gran poo-bah has to toot his horn loudest.

Not Over By A Long Shot / My Dream Yet Fulfilled

Probably Been Down For Days

I can tell
how you are
how the sun
meets the star
don't mean nothing
like the mountains
over lurid skies
dreams close eyes
two before
you and more
believe in
divine comedy
let them cluck
and scratch dirt
one morning we
all will see
what is left behind
the rabbit's ears
and the static filled
screen
have you seen
the tears go on
for days, when the phone is down
the lights are off
critics scoff
but candles
scare shadows
with vandal's tools
crashed into pedals
melted metals
become craft
life, then a raft
let cowards tie us
before we drift
into dreams
life is tired
or so it seams
will I ever
bring these
two halves together
sewn down like tethers
dusted by witches brooms
--------

oh my foolish little ....

Nate's Story / Cross posted on Catster

"This past august my 14 year old passed at home from a long fight with inflammatory bowel disease. It was horrible as this huge vacuum of space opened up in my life and I was sad and depressed for days, yet grateful he died here, with me and wasn't alone. After several days I realized my other cat was also now alone as they had been raised together since they were both kittens. I am often away during the day and felt the best way to deal with his sadness/loneliness(and mine) was to immediately get a new cat. I had always gotten cats when they were kittens but, looking at the shelters, reading online listings and going to the adoption fairs I realized there were far more cats than kittens. I didn't want to get a kitten to pair with my other cat even though I knew that might work, because he was used to a grown cat. Instead I started looking at adult cats. I looked for about two weeks, everyday both in shelters and online. Then I found Nate, an owner who could no longer care for him had left him at the animal control shelter here in SF. My partner pointed out his listing -as a 'small buff siamese mix' with the cutest picture of his face. I called up to see if he was still available but they said he had been adopted. Darn! So I kept looking, and for some reason the listing for him stayed up. A few days went by and I started to wonder if it had been a mistake, so I checked again. Sure enough, he had been 'test driven' by someone who wanted a friendly cat and spent three days under the sofa hiding which was apparently enough for them to turn him back over to animal control. They never took down the listing though so he had been stuck there in a shelter for a while, then moved to a PetFoodExpress here in town, to their adoption center. Given up by a different owner, stressed from losing his 'real' owner and now sad and very very unhappy from being moved around so much he had even taken to sleeping in his litterbox and had stopped eating. His lethargy was probably interpreted by some as his real personality and not one person had looked at him in almost two weeks. Things were not looking good. When I found out he was still there, I RAN the four blocks down the street to the store and immediately saw him sitting alone in his box starring out into space. One problem though...he was not a 'small siamese mix" but rather a HUGE white, longhaired tabby/maine coon cross of some sort with deep set blue eyes-think an albino raccoon and you've got the look AND the size. Waaay more cat than I was thinking of getting as my other cat is much smaller. But I figured, lets see how he is anyway. The adoption folks brought him out and he promptly stuffed his head inside my coat and went to sleep. Well, that was all she wrote for this big softie! That was September...he is now a totally different cat. Still skittish and wary at times but he continues to warm up and be more and more comfortable. He and my other cat share food, the multi-storied cat stand and now sleep together though they maintain separate boxes. And yes, he DID hide under my couch for about a week but I made sure he had everything he needed and one day, he came out. 2 weeks later he let me pet him. 1 month later he let me pet his tummy. Now he plays catch, romps and plays, vocalizes and is just a sweet loving cat as I knew he would be. he just needed a chance - so please don't turn your back on older cats. They have so much love to give!

lets drive through the hole in the sky

I see your eyes
weary with unrest slackened
heavy with age
but I remember
young energy
feet that were light
claws that cut
and teeth that
sucked the marrow
out of life
a rare treat
to watch your sleep
soft subtle
breaths and
old man snores
never so much
as a peep
of sorrow
strength that
turns the world
world aside
one day we'll see
one day will keep
one day we'll shoot loneliness
fly on bullets
shot through space
with a gun
and meet again
in sleep
where like diamonds
all dreams return

Some Sense Of Self

Turbulent Disconnect

I'll lock all the doors
pull the blinds
it'll be fine
wild animal noises
we'll strike strange poses
crawling around on the floor
howling on all fours
tried of the drivel and
the dreck
what the hell
lets get shipwrecked
light our way
with unused
signal flares

right before the shiny explosion
we'll hit the deck
my mouth and the salt drying on your neck
some spanish tequila
going down like siren's screams
some how fits getting
shipwrecked

Love U Josquin

Hope you're somewhere grabbing a comfy cardboard box. You always made them look so toasty. Miss you buddy. Lit a candle for you....my beautiful boy.

(you bet) Coastal Trial

 denied
a gift
stolen
better you than
better
yeah
than you and him
and disarray

some new letter
to fold
follow
down the
hole
where the
shadow lays
where you bet
its only a new magic
yet
you graze
he held spots
sporting
your gaze
you bet
yeah
 you're better not
to bet.

To kiss my eyes
and then
a slow duress
a pandemonium
natural to
the sun
we become
not dangerous
unexpected
yet a play
redressed in
ascension bound
by earthly constraints
applied.

???/!!!/I Can See My House From Here/Rat Race

new streams
seem
unfamiliar
dream hidden
in rye
cut down
like
old
beauty
queens
pageantry
dried
like a a potato ring
in some nameless
field
a place to C#
all my own
golden notes
for a lost boy
and his golden throne
some place that will not ask
questions that will not
for another day
for the right name
to replace
space ship in the
trismeric flow
what else is played
against the rhythmic
hics and coughs
that never stop
that language never tops
did you get it in the last bit?
do the stars shine like diamonds
when you look away?
do the lines in the face of
mars ever make
you wonder?
wander into space
inside?
its a plutonian race
you're rats to ponder
best to move
on
gander
question
in the ether...

It Was Alright

a piece of glass
a sea shell
part of a broken doll
and some coral.
a few pieces of jewelry
and some special rocks
from that trip
to Australia
what I wouldn't do
if I could
be there
again
it would
be
1950
me meek
free from age
one book
a bible
I read every page
there was no way out
no martyr without
a painted pout
would you believe
me
if I said I met god
on the battlefield
and every rock
is a message sealed
where man makes
a deal buddy,
you peddle your
ideas
weak ideals
outside
men pretend to be men
just running in place
dirty
and wasted
pretending
to taste to the ceiling
while
they're awake
yeah, that is what they will say in the morning
weather they are brewing storms
every idea is the
same
like any man or woman
you can name
begging for bread
at the back door
we all look the same
piled high
in a hole in the ground
covered in quicklime
no way in
or out
that is supposed to be free
of pain
why do think
we're so afraid of change
of the potential of another day
why do
people have to beg anyway?
outside
your vision
sews jagged incisions
accusations falsely rebuffed
something, something bird guys
on that folkways label
no one can remember all
those folk records from 1953
how many bookshelves can
one man have?
to stave off guilt
to throw into the sea
or to the flames
how many books does it take
for one man to learn
to starve
to live and
rearrange laws
wonder if the sky wants stars
wonder what kind of place this is
where a man can lay down and die
but I'll take a swing
even though I don't know
with my good arm
even though
I don't know.

First Day of Fall is Coming / Random Indigo

close your eyes / people can't see

Summers Shimmering (exit)

project it on
the fifth
something similar
simple and fitting
she signs of birds frittered away
blue clapped common
encapscalted ocelot
eviscerating ecstasy
escaping
exit,
sin, sugar, sing
sugar while away
keep hidden,
sleep suddenly.
sleep murderous.
she seems to tomorrow.
she sleep her vision.
she sounds for firing off
sounds a shimmering
she simmers
and ropes and fulfills 
and pulls and pulls and
then is gone.

A Little Midnight Shipwreck

no one would believe
how often we work
to self deceive
like an old king
on his tarnished throne
talking about all his hang ups
on the telephone
where he hangs his coat
the crocodiles in
the moat you could
not cradle your head
full of inhibition
wrapped with strips
of old skin
hung up and hanging
wounded and staining
the wooden landscape
the papered walls
tilting kudzu covered
garden stalls
not touched since the 1970s
stuck on a post
a dried and rotting vine
trials and tribulations of wrong choices
made over time

but costs, all or most
eventually recovered
without choice
run aground voices
being hung up
all the time
(sigh)