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Composition in Black and White

Even a dull stone can be polished to the point of beauty

my eyes close dreaming of venus

you lull me into sleep
with stories of the moon
and her make-up.
imaginary women
cooing in caves
and stirring cauldrons
full of lost souls

I'll try and stay asleep
another night as
a stranger in a strange land
without a name
I'd beg to be released
or for relapse
if only there was someone
here with the key
to the locked door
of my waking mind...

Brave New World

I was covering the revolving world
In paper-mache death certificates
Filling the sphere with all the blood
And moons I could find.
A few tears and
Some strange music
At midnight
For the glowing ones
For the lonely ones
And you?
With your
American spirit?
Lift me up
‘Til I can’t talk.
My words becoming useless,
Like the hills against
The waves, dear…
It’s a brave new world
And no one knows nothing
About you.

the jaded underworld

There's no point in choosing
which way, which path?
stick to the soft shoulder
can I cry on you
when my soul feels empty
or drink from you
like a glass of wine
in verticle puddles
growing in my mind...

Will we say goodbye
again...to those still alive?
will we last through the night
or get lost...again
in a pool of a thousand eyes?
the acting trip is over,
the sun is up
will it use up all
the rest of me
to rise above?


fuck this...I can't wait around for the sun to shine again

words as weapons

In a moment in the sky
there were birds
and insects,
I was laughing
as I ran
into the grass...

there were no statues there
there was a sense of quiet
though I could not hear it
the field shrugged its shoulders
and laughed

I cannot hold my breath
while you build an empire
cannot be the unknown civilian
In this game of cat and mouse

words worked all his life
words as weapons, laughed off
the next day would come again,
his comfort was the pain of confirmation
a life of toil
in a bed of shallow soil

So now in silence
why he waits alone
the bed is wide and vapid
when empty
and do I even care?
Do I even care?

Black Houses

In black houses
where the energy remains
ice from the walls
wets the floors
clouds are forming
in the rafters
where I live...

The forms that floated
in the rooms upstairs
have descended onto
the graveyard heirs
read the stones
what do they say?
What do they say?

A glimpse

and every guitar will lift you up
like a whip of wind
wrapping itself around the sound,
caught in a glimpse,
a red wine hangover,
the first blink of the morning
and a long exhale...

and oh how I wait to breathe
how I wait to breathe
how I wait to breathe
for the last sigh of truth
to be perceived.

Suddenly Everything Has Changed

God, everything feels so heavy right now. I feel like a child who doesn't understand why things are the way they are, and my heart is hurting because I don't know how to change things and make them better. Where is superman when I need him? Or just someone who could tell me how I can ever find happiness that isn't tainted. At the very least how to keep from making things worse or at least stop caring if its fucked up.

I thought it was already hard and heavy and overwhelming. now it all just feels out of my reach, like I've failed again trying to make other people comfortable, trying to make a relationship stable that isn''t built to be so. what on earth am I doing? I have never felt so lost in my life.

I'm melting away

Won't somebody Take my hand,
I'm looking for the lantern man

Will I ever understand?

Romance cannot ever seem to keep up with Time

and

What Makes A Man A Man?

Close Your Eyes

And I'm looking at the clock
turning down the lights
what seems like a memory
of an old conversation
replaying
melting together
once sentence after the other
they all go by now
sounding the same
feeling the same
what on earth I am doing here
listening to the same song
I didn't find joy in
the first time around
it snows and shows
and from into the fade
I slowly melt away
and I'm gone...

CO 2 elements released....

have forgotten where I started
didn't see when we parted,
but somewhere
and I don't know when
our paths diverged in a wood....
and the difference is...
I swear....
I swear there was a difference
that made everything
into something that wasn't
what it looked like...glad to
know I can change it away from
something its not....

the moon is white
and cold.....
and filled with holes

Thank you Paul Simpson for freeing my mind...
IN this alchoholic state
the luxury of space
the lines of every satellite,
streaking across the sky
remind me that I cannot let myself forget
that I matter,
that some form of who I am has made a difference,
made a connection,
made something worth remembering
or being remembered.

I cannot give up in pain
or forget who I am.
I cannot ask that others become the
people I would like them to be.
that every notion I had or have had
will one day be real in some time
and space
and even if its just the moon
and its only me singing
that its not an empty moon
and that its full of hope
and I am not that stupid little kid
and that I have feelings that matter
while the guitars play
and the drums linger
and my tiny self
is free for just one moment
called forever
and forever can last as long as I want it
or need it to.
I forgive you
I release you
I let go of the part of you
that I hate
I have lived too long
I have sung the wrong song,
I have become the thing I hate the most
adn forgotten where I started.
Don't forget to love this even
when you don't rythme.
even when you don' t make it....
even when you can no longer fake it
and the guitar plays
and the moon is full of holes
and white....

Don't let go

All the dust that has collected in me
will be washed away
sometime...
and all the bastards
who would not listen
when I tried to tell the time
will hear me

You got to give everything you've got
before you give up and give in to rot
but there is a lesson in the wilderness
temptation is an evil mistress

will you hear me
when I try to tell you the time
will you listen to me
when I am spending my last dime
drop it on you
I am calling
will the bastards remember
when I am fallen

Babe, I am tired
but I am so damn wired
like a cable connection
lost in reflection
what do I see in me on the other side

well, I'm hiding
the sun is out
and its just blinding.
I cower behind these rocks
for a little while...
you feel like you're spent
while other's find you magnificent

I'm trying to let go
I'm trying to let the real me show
in this crazy race
where only rats win
I don't want either of us to give in
I believe...

Another War - another way forward....

I wanted to come back from my self imposed break with something extraordinary and breathtaking but I'm afraid-well not afraid but less than thrilled-that it hasn't been exactly a sea change. I think I have put some of the pieces in place to move forward and some other things are in motion for positive changes ahead.

and of course there's always some poetry.
--------------------
I grabbed my phone
lifted if off the glass orchid shelf
I sensed the world was falling apart
or maybe it twas the water on my face
Left over from the battle yesterday
another set of tears
from another war

that came back from the darkened sea
right back from the left in pieces
near apartments on the beach.
conch shells whistled for the dying
sailors buried beneath the surf
Soliders from the last
conversational exploration...
resting in the earth.

Blog Haitus

I'm outta here until further notice.

Darkness in the dust rising from the trees at night

Glittering like a pinball machine,
like silver surfing on the water
when you're looking up at the skies.
disintegrating atoms exploding in mercury.

overhead....dreams; fluid, moving, swirling.

More dreams...pianos, petals, metal in synergy.
Watching the seasons curl..
watching the back of my eyes...
Azure blue velvet gasses steaming.
like hail on a tin roof streaking by,
Like flaming swords,
like love at the end of the world...

I don't know how or what it is...

But I'll be there

When the only reaction
is no reaction
no satisfaction
or reasonable suggestion,
just open mouths,
and the voids...

Got to break away
from the frozen ice
clinging to my life
announce myself
in someone else's eyes
not taking shots
at close range targets
like those firing ranges
from so long ago.

in the last few notes
from the evening nocturne
where darkness leaks
from the holes in the floor
replacing the light
with the blackness
that hides inside
the holes in my mind
where I turn the key
and close the door.

Is there a pill
that can make one turn back
or at least turn away from
the bad things we sometimes
drift through and into?
like no plans existed,
or were somehow erased.
a veil was lowered,
not lifted
over oceans of shards
glissening like razors
exploding in the apocalypse...

Healing

It just goes on and on....

Seriously, the last two months have been too chaotic to try and glean anything from worth mentioning twice in the same breath. Life has continued, I am still alive and my fingers, with some remaining sensitivity, have healed up pretty well. I will start writing again in a few days. Lots is on the horizon. So much potential...its time to realise some of it this year. A new president, a new dawn, another chance to find bliss.